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Simplify to Success

Wednesday, 17th November 2010

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Sometimes the best way to step it up in your life is to simplify.  We are fast approaching the holidays, what are you going to cut back on, make easier, or just not do?  Love to hear.

Take Cues from Nature for Business Growth

Monday, 15th November 2010

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Here in Utah the season is changing.  It’s becoming cold.  The leaves are transforming into beautiful auburn reds, brilliant oranges, and yellows.  The leaves then drift from the trees to the ground.  Nature is preparing for winter to come.  Often time we can take cues from nature on how to grow successful businesses.  What can we learn from preparing for winter and its bitter chill cold for our business?  One thing is to slow down and prepare to go deep about what we want to do and accomplish in our business instead of being on the fast track of the rat race going from one thing to another without really analyzing the actions steps we are taking.

When we let things settle and we explore the brilliance and opportunities that are around us changes take place. It’s is critical to periodically take really deep looks at our business, not just all the work and fluff, but uncovering:

  • Why we are in business?
  • Where do we want to go in our business?
  • Who are niche?
  • Who do we want to work with?
  • What is our perfect work life balance?
  • What are the opportunities we want to capture?
  • What is the legacy do we want to leave in business?

When we focus on these kinds of questions, and come up with the answer from our core, we learn who we want to be and where we want to grow our business.  Then we can look then at our busy “to do” list and decide if what we are doing is supporting are overarching goals.  Is what we are doing going to be important a week from now?  A month?  Or even a year?  Or is it busy work that we feel we have to do out of obligation because other people are telling us we should do.  Maybe we doing it because it seems like it should be done.  When we brutally refine what needs to be done to get to the next level amazing clarity comes.  After that, it is necessary to take action steps that are critical to bringing in revenue and building relationship.  If we do revenue producing activities first and only second do all the other stuff then our businesses will transform into greater health.  This laser-like focus gives energy we need to weather any storm that comes our way.

As you look at your business, are you about to go into winter?  Do you want to encourage the rebirth in your business?  Or maybe your business is going into spring and preparing for more growth?  No matter the stage your business is in take cues from nature go deep.

Is work/life balance possible for a mother?

Wednesday, 10th November 2010

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I have been so excited.  My husband finally got a job out of the house.  That means the kids are home with me.  I wanted that.  I have two younger kids that need my attention and the best way for me to give it to them is for me to be the one home adoring them.  BUT, as I realized the first day my husband was gone, that means I am the one doing everything.  Naturally, I am not giving up my job as business coach nor am I going to stop writing and speaking so how to balance it all?

Whether you are going through a new transition like I just jumped into, or whether you are dealing with the normal life this balance it something that has no magical answer.  Also to make it tricky what works now won’t last.  Kids naturally grow into different stages. What was required from me when my older kids where young is different now that they are teens.  What it required of me now with my little ones is different than it was the first time.

So how does one at least achieve some sort of balance so they don’t feel overwhelmed, depressed, or unmotivated?

I am sure that there are many different answers to this, but I will tell you how I climbed out of my overwhelmed box. At this moment I am currently rocking as a mom and in my business.  First, I took a breath.  My husband got his job on a weekend I was out-of-town.  I flew in late Sunday because of plane delays (got to bed at 3 AM) and work up early Monday morning to my husband leaving for work. I was expected to figure out my business and tending to the little ones.  Overwhelm.

Step 1: Baby stepping to sanity

So I took baby steps.  I first attended to the “Must does.”   I didn’t do anything else but the things that absolutely had to be done.  I told everyone that requested something that I today was “must dos only.”  Their requests would go to a list and I would get to it when I had better idea of how I would balance everything, okay, not everything but most things.

It is amazing how many people struggle with this step of saying, “No” or “I can’t get to that right now.”  When questioned they often feel like they must be there for the other person.  It is hard to put themselves first.  This is a very important step to take.  If taken it is amazing how much our children, spouse, or clients will understand and be willing to take their turn for your attention as long as you do get back in a timely manner.

Step 2: Pay attention to the AHHH’s

After putting out the biggest fires, it was time to tune-in to the ahhhh’s.  Now there is a lot of variety of ahhhh.  There is the ahhhh’s: how I am going to do this?  There is the ahhhh’s: how am I going to adjust and what this is going to mean to me?  And there is just simply ahhhhh.  That Monday the biggest ahhhh I felt was: How was I going to go on the business trips I wanted and needed to go on since now husband couldn’t babysit?  Despite all the pressure and being exhausted from travel and all the things screaming to pay attention to, I came up with a plan for the trips.  I immediately called my sister to see if she was up for watching my darlings.  I gave her the dates for the whole next year and WOW did I feel better when she said, “Yes, for now.”

After that call I was able to chip away at all the rest of the stuff so much easier.  To be truthful the idea of being home all the time with my little darling and staying in the snow without any trip or seeing my friends that I have from all over was just well—depressing.  More than depressing.  Really really really depressing.  Once I knew that I was going to have my outs, I was much happier chasing the kids around the house hearing them squeal in delight.

My second ahhhh was the car pool that I just realized (when the kids called asking where I was at) that I was expected to do.  Well car pool is wonderful thing, but when I am hauling babies through the snow and getting in the car when I could be coaching—well the math didn’t add up nor did my excitement.  I rolled up my work sleeves and looked for a solution.  I believe that there is always an answer and this time the answer had to be me not doing the driving.  I did come up with an answer.  They kids get where they need and I do very little of the driving.  Happy times.

As you look at your work/life balance, what is having you go ahhhhh?  What is having you feel trapped?  Depressed? Not excited?  What step can you take to make it better?

Step 3: Identify where is the energy drainers or the anxiety increasers

By week two I had caught up with the travel hanger over and work pile.  Now it was time for me to tune in again and identify when I was feeling more agitated and what I could do about it.  After two days, I realized I was really happy and hit flow until the older kids came home.  I looked at why that was causing stomach problems.  It didn’t take long to identify the problem.  I actually thought that when the older kids got home they would help.  I would get a lot of my business work done.  Now that is funny!  What was I thinking?

Teenagers are addicted to drama.  They want their stories heard, boredom fixed, and their friends, not to help Mom.  Okay some of that they are going have to learn how to roll up their sleeves and work anyways.  Other part of it Mom is going to have to learn to get her work done before they came home.  Easy solution.  Hire a babysitter for two hours twice a week while the older ones are at school and work then.  That has worked like a charm.  There is so much peace of mind in a babysitter.  I can actually schedule when my work is going to be done and now all I have to do is honor the schedule.  Brilliant.  I wish I would have thought that one earlier.

I have to tell you it was hard to admit I needed the babysitter.  I actually felt guilty for being away from the kids eight hours a week.  Where is my head?  I had to talk to myself about how eight hours working strictly on my business is not being a bad mom.  Where did I get that idea?  I had to do some serious coaching on myself.  Hate that.  Sometimes I think I should know better and would get it faster since I help so many others with it.  But that is not loving and so I accept that I am human and I need help and sometimes I even need to coach myself.

That’s all the solutions I have for now.  I would love to hear from other mother’s out there on what solutions they found in work life balance and what things are they still struggling with.

What’s a Leader?

Friday, 5th November 2010

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What is a leader?  That sounds like a question and I am sure that you have heard many different answers too.  Here’s mine.  I believe that everyone has the potential and the capacity to be a leader within them.  In order for a person to truly live their life purpose and do what they were sent here to Earth to do, they at some point in their life need to find that leader within them and let it step forth and shine to the world.  When I talk about stepping it up in your life this is the exact stuff that I am talking about–stepping forth in your brilliance.

Okay before the panic button gets pressed by all you introverts out there that believe I am saying that in order to live your life purpose you have to go way out there and do a lot of stuff that is extremely uncomfortable.  Wrong.  Not what I mean.  There are all types of leaders and all types of ways to lead.  Yes, there are the loud powerful ones that are in front of the pack and often make a lot of noise.  Love those types and believe we should empower as much as possible to make the right choices.  There are also the quiet leaders that lead softly with gentle words and kind gestures that often hit people in the core and make lasting change with little effort.  Love those types too and we shouldn’t over look them.  Then there are the cheerleaders, of course my favorite since that is the type that I am.  Cheerleaders believe in others and their capacities and they will see other’s potential that sometimes others can’t see for themselves.  Of course there is the ones who lead by serving and they uplift all they come in contact with.  There are leaders that somehow transform everything they come in contact with into beauty and on and on we can go.

Leaders lead.  That simple.  They let their light shine and sometimes they are really scared and take big steps and they fall or they succeed but they go on doing the things that they know in their core is the right thing that will make this world a better place.  Of course there are the bad leaders that get groups to do things that are terrible, but I am not going to waste my time on those leaders unless they are willing to self-examine and transform their ways to be about building others.

Each one of us has a longing a desire to do or be something that will have an impact and make a difference.  Those who listen to that longing and start taking steps to make the longing a reality are the leaders.  I don’t care if you take the steps in a loud fashion or ever so lightly.  Each and every one of us has the ability to look inside and listen to what’s next and to take that step.  What’s your next step?  How do you best lead?  I’d love to hear from you.

Final Week in Family Tribal Leadership

Sunday, 10th October 2010

Nothing ever goes as planned.  That is the one lesson I am learning over and over again as I try to lead my family to greatness.  Okay, greatness is a little much, how about to being better than we started.  Today is October 10, 2010, which was the due date for my family’s leadership quests.  Let me drill down to how they did.  First, my husband.  No he didn’t do the real estate thing.  Once he got into it that didn’t seem practical so he went to applying for a job, which turned out to applying to many jobs.  He got hired too but quit that day realizing it didn’t fit with his ethics.  Now he is further down the job path and we have our fingers crossed that one of the jobs he applied for will come through or that he will find one that will work soon.  My take, this has been a huge success.  He got out there, got his feet wet, and still continuing.

My daughter who was going to bake a cake for the widows joined in with another daughter and then my son also joined in giving up his idea of cleaning the park.  They of course waited until today to do it.  They set out with the cakes they made to visit the widows and learned that not one neighboring widow was home.  They had a life other than waiting for teenagers to knock on their door on Sunday afternoons.  So my girls and son visited youth leaders in their church.  The reported ah ha was that everyone needs a boost.  They were surprised at what a difference it made in people who they would have judged had it all together.  They learned everyone needs kindness.

My daughter that was going to do the book donation ran into the problems with that project which she may continue in a later date.  She has decided to do another project this time for a widow that does answer her phone.  My daughter was granted an extension and will be serving soon.

Then to my four year olds project.  We had a great time buying the cookie dough at the grocery store together.  (I can’t bake.  Seriously I can’t stand putting all that butter and sugar in.  All I think about is the clotted arties and I begin reducing the recipe then I get yelled at …you get the picture.)  After we had the dough she did a good job in arranging all her siblings into helping her bake them.

Today we went as a family to give the cookies to my former mother-in-law, Mara Dee.  As a side note, I adore my mother-in-law.  This woman was one of the great ones.  She was funny, full of life, and cared so much for others.  She would spend months making wreathes for people sick at the hospital or for the elderly.  She has dementia and quickly went downhill over the past few years.  I haven’t seen her for awhile, being an ex-in-law and all but this was a good excuse.  I know how much she loves children, cookies, babies and we brought all three.

I knew that Mara Dee wasn’t doing well.  I’ve seen her before but I guess I wasn’t prepared to see someone that I love so much be so completely gone.  As I looked into her eyes and saw someone completely checked out, I couldn’t help but remember how many times she would say how she didn’t want to become like that.  How she never wanted to be a burned to anyone.  How she would rather die than to not be able to function and remember.  Yet, there she was exactly what she didn’t want to become.  I waited until everyone else left the room and held my baby up to her and I think for a brief moment she looked at the baby with delight and then the cloud came over her again and she grew tired and scared.

As I look back at the journey, I am glad we took it.  The kids enjoyed the meals, some like the picnics, storytelling and family time, which we are continuing.  Yes, it has brought the family closer and hopefully created more memories for them to rely on later in life.  Each person life has changed.  There has been learning.  I have to say what I learned most was the impact that my mother-in-law had on me.  She loved me all those years I was her daughter-in-law.  She took me in as daughter and a friend.  Her influence I will never forget.  It was her love that changed my life and made it so much better.  It is my hope that my family when looking back will be able to say that about me.  If they do, I know that my life was lived well for this reason I will continue to working on strengthening the tribe.

The Answer to Work/Life Balance

Thursday, 7th October 2010

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Have you ever found it difficult balancing two different areas of your life, such as work and family? Would you be interested in knowing that there is a way to be happier in both areas—and that it doesn’t necessarily require more work?

You should have been there when I was coaching a young sales rep with a truckload of ambition, saddled with the concerns a young family can bring. When he showed up for his coaching call, he announced that one of his children would soon have an extended stay in the university hospital. How would he manage the increased family responsibilities with the constant pressure of being able to provide for them? He would have significantly less time for business but a dramatic increase in demand for money because of growing hospital bills.

To add another layer to his pressure, his wife had a chronic health condition that the doctors said needed immediately attention. The last layer of stress was the businessman’s health. It was starting to get affected, because he wasn’t putting in the needed time to take care of himself.

I immediately had him take a deep breath, letting go of as much stress as he could. Then I had him quickly write what needed to be done in one column, what could be taken out in the other. He had to be ruthless. He had no time or energy to work on things that “would be nice.” Every item in the second column went to the calendar as things to do after he climbed out of survival mode.

Then I had him study and explore a concept I learned from my personal coach. The concept sounds real simple, but it’s one of those things that is harder to apply.

Here it is: Figure out what your perfect working conditions are.

What is included in your list? What things need to be in place for you to be a peak performance? Do you need to eat certain kinds of food at certain times? Do you need to exercise? If so, what type? How often? How long? Do you need to have a certain amount of rest?

What about the state of your desk? Do you operate better when it’s clean, or if it has a certain amount of clutter? How much family time do you need to put in so you aren’t riddled with guilt? What else do you need in place?

How many hours are you working? What gives you the motivation to step it up? Are there certain people, activities or meetings that naturally get you motivated?

These questions sound easy, but it is amazing how many people don’t know the answers. After I put my young sales rep through the questionnaire, it became clear that proper food, exercise, and hunting time were his magic ingredients to relieve his stress enough that he could with a clear head move through the other challenges. Once we brainstormed how he could accomplish more of those things within the confines of his circumstances, he more easily slipped into the zone. In fact, at the end of the year, he was ecstatic that he’d worked less than ever but had and made significantly more money.

The question is: Are you ready to be happier? What would being in the zone do for your business? What would it do for your personal life?

If you are ready to find out, Zone Play.

Achieve Leadership Excellence No Matter Where You Go

Friday, 1st October 2010

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Achieving excellence in leadership is a matter of knowing how you show up in the playing field, your impact, and how to accelerate both for maximum results.

Have you ever gone somewhere and wondered why you even made the effort? How about feeling like you don’t belong in some groups no matter what you say or do?

What if I told you that there is a way where you not only will never feel like a stranger, but you won’t have to worry about pleasing others again?

On an early snowy January morning in 2009, I was deflated, sitting at a greasy, cold breakfast network meeting. I was surrounded by suits, wondering how to get their respect and sell in a man’s world. The men were courteous but clearly did not accept me into their club.

I was newly remarried, recovering from a divorce after six kids and thirteen years of marriage. I was also recovering from a failed business that had consumed most of my time, energy, and money the year before. As I straightened my jacket, I wondered,

What am I doing here? I don’t belong here. I’d been coming to these meetings for six months and had never made a sale. I’m a mother of six, I thought. I should be at home. The suits won’t take me seriously, especially with another baby coming. It doesn’t matter how professional I dress. And I already lost $30,000 last year.

At that meeting, I once again, went through the process of trying to sell myself as a coach. Once again, I failed. I dragged myself home, where my husband put his arms around me and said I should just quit.  “Dear, I hate seeing you get all stressed out and tied up in knots. You don’t belong in the hard business world. You just aren’t built that way.”

Later that day, I received an e-mail from the coaching school I just promised $8000 to get accredited. I needed to have seven paying clients in one month’s time, or I would be kicked out of the program. Great. I’d gone six months without a single sale. I had one client so far. Now, magically, I was supposed to get six more in four weeks?

I sat on my office couch in defeat. I was going to quit. It definitely would be cheaper. I wasn’t cut out to be in business. The kids would just have to wait for braces until they got married and their spouses could pay for them. Assuming they could find someone to marry them with crooked teeth.

I had just got myself believing that I would never have future grandkids because I wasn’t a business woman, when the phone rang. It was my future mentor calling, a woman I’d met the month before. She was an older lady from Arizona who wore ethereal clothes and had a quiet confidence about her although she was incredibly shy.

She said she’d felt impressed to call me. After hearing my plight, she had three life-changing questions for me.

Question #1: Are you a man or a woman?

Answer: Woman.

Question #2: Do you like the aggressive way the men sell?

No.

Question #3: Then why try to be one of them?

Ahh. She got me.

Over the next week, it didn’t take long for me to figure out my strengths. I was a mother at heart. I can see greatness in others. I can call them to that greatness, whether it requires a nurturing touch or a butt-kicking. I naturally discover what causes people pain and then help them tap in to their brilliance to solve their own problems.

Once I plugged in to my unique but natural way of being—focusing on helping the suits be their best—and stayed that way throughout the sales process—I hit bingo. Now not only do I fill my practice quickly and easily, but I get to decide which clients to take on.

In a sense, my husband was right—I didn’t belong in the boys’ club. I needed to start my own club. Now I belong to Lisa’s club. I am the owner, and I decide who belongs. Guess how much I charge my husband to come visit?

So ask yourself: What club are you still trying to get into to? Stop.

Own your own club.

Avoid the Pitfalls of Sales Pressure

Tuesday, 28th September 2010

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I am surely not the only person who has ever fallen prey to a salesperson. What if I told you about a simple way to stay grounded and not be bulldozed by others’ wants? When I first launched my business, I was a nervous, shy, stay-at-home mom feeling awkward as she tried to pull herself off as a professional in a world she knew nothing about and didn’t believe she belonged in. My insecurity reached its height when I decided to board a plane and fly clear across the country to the heart of business: New York City.

My friend and I had gotten it in our heads that we were going to go to the National Speakers Convention to drive a lot of business. There were only several problems with this—one, I had just barely earned my membership to NSA and was still unsure about being a professional speaker; I’d convinced myself of my own inadequacy. Second, I was pregnant again and felt awful. My constant prayer was, Please don’t let me throw-up on anyone.

Then there was the third problem, which in its own way was bigger than the first two: I am introverted by nature, and when put in public situations where small talk is required, I become completely lost. Unlike my husband, who is awesome at small talk and engagement, I often go blank and have no idea how to maneuver myself through the situation. I would be rich if I were paid for how many times my husband has said to me, “Why didn’t you say…” Door-to-door salesmen loved me because I was tongue-tied when they showed up. As a result, I had a cupboard full of cleaners, painting, magazines and more.

So there I was, feeling inadequate, nauseous, and lacking networking skills.  My friend was more street smart than I was, and instead of being afraid of New York, she loved it, but she was new to business too and also had doubts of how to navigate that world. We were the stay-at-home mom dual.

We decked ourselves out in our best outfits, walked our confident strut, and strolled into the reception area of the conference. After mingling a bit, we decided the safest place for us was the bookstore.

We began browsing and made it to the second row when a man in an outdated, powder-blue, worn-out suit found me. His suit must have grown tired from the effort of trying to cover his extended stomach. He greeted us with a smile and immediately began pitching his expensive product.

“No, thanks,” I said quickly and tried to walk on.

He blocked my path and looked at my name tag, “Ah, you are the Step It Up Queen. You need to ‘step it up’ and buy my product. Or are you afraid?”

I froze, staring at him. I didn’t want to buy his product, but I definitely didn’t want to not step it up either.

“Um . . .”

“Come on, are you the Queen, or what?” he cajoled me.

Nothing. Blank. Trapped.

My friend interrupted, “Ah, but she gets to make her own rules about how she steps it up.”

I looked at her, thought about what she said. “Yeah. I get to make my own rules. And that’s rule number one to step-it-up living.”

What a great idea! Make your own rules about how you show up in your life and what you do. This simple comeback from my friend became the key I needed to fend off pushy sales people and countless others wanting to talk me into doing things or buying things that go against what’s the right path for me. So whenever I feel guilted, pressured, or smothered, I remember—I make my own rules to how I live my life.

This rule frees me up to live my life. It has also freed me from worrying if I fit in, am good enough, and so on.. Now I live the life I want to live. I’m writing the books I want to write, giving the speeches I want to give, and coaching the people I want to coach. I’m having a great step-it-up life.

So here’s a question: Do you have a similar key? Does it need sharpening? What rules do you want to make? Next time you feel pressured, guilted, or cajoled, remember that you get to make your own rules.

Tribal Family Leadership Week 7: Real Life

Monday, 27th September 2010

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Sometimes life has a way of sneaking up and completely changing things.  That happened this week on my plans for the tribal leadership.  I had plans on giving my family some skills on how to lead and get better results.  Then really life happened.  On Sunday instead of me teaching my family some ways to align with others, I ended up in Urgent Care because I couldn’t stop fainting.   The docs ran tests and aren’t sure what is wrong.  They think I might have developed vertigo as a result from the physical therapy that I have been doing.  They are hoping it is that and not my heart.  I am hoping that too. So in our family meeting, when I wasn’t sleeping (the docs gave me sleepy medicine), I encouraged everyone to step up in their quests and get their projects done.  The deadline is looming and I hope that they meet the call whether I am a wake or sleeping

Best Business Protection: Building Your Dream Team

Friday, 24th September 2010

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Going to the next level in your life and business often requires you to build a dream team. I learned the necessity of having a strong dream team the hard way while going through a divorce—during that awful period when the decision had been made and all that was left was to completely rip my life apart and then hope somehow, magically, I’d be able to reassemble it again into some kind of order.

My former husband had always taken care of the money. Now that we were parting, I was faced with the challenge of how to meet the needs of my six kids and myself. I was in absolute panic as I obsessed over our future. I broke into an ice-cold sweat and struggled to breathe.

“I have a roof over my head,” I told myself. “I have food in the cupboard, and I know where my children are.” That helped only to a point.

Things got worse when I gathered up piles of financial papers and plopped them on the desk. Ancient Greek would have been easier to understand. The sinking feeling plummeted deeper as I delved into the papers and tried to understand them.

At this time, Sally, a neighbor—a pear-shaped, pit-bull woman dressed in her grandmother’s dresses, rang my door. A licensed financial planner, she barged into my house and took control.

The relief was tremendous. My young children and I were about to be rescued. She gathered boxes of information and put them in files. She created summary sheets of what I had and what it all meant. She created another sheet of how I could grow my money.

Turns out my ex hadn’t been smart in his distribution of investments. She crunched the numbers and showed me how to grow my money quickly and be able to meet the needs of my children. Hallelujah!

As we dug through the mess, we spent a lot of time together and quickly became best friends. Since my mom wasn’t active in my life at that time, Sally stepped in as grandma. She taught my kids to sew and cook, took them to their activities when I couldn’t make it, and baked them personalized cakes for their birthdays.

My life stabilized, I remarried, and things were good. Sally and I talked often, had a great time selling my books, camping, and more, being good friends.

Then I had an odd feeling that something wasn’t right. You may have felt something similar. My feeling got stronger and stronger—I wasn’t quite settled where I was and wanted something more. My life was good, but I felt there could be something even better. At this time I ran into one of my mentors—Rich. He was charismatic, successful, and played life in a big way.

I told him I wanted to play bigger too.

“Great,” he said. “First step: accountability. How are your finances? Do you know where you stand? Do you know all your financial numbers right now?”

I didn’t.

He challenged me to make a daily money effort. That meant doing something positive with my money every day, whether call on a bill, cash a check, upload QuickBooks, or whatever.

I took the challenge. About two months later, I had more gut feelings, little hints that all was not right. I dove deeper. I started asking Sally questions. She passionately tried to calm my concerns, but the uneasiness grew. I brought my concerns to my husband. We were both tempted at the time to let things go, but I had made a commitment to take daily action steps. Step after step, a horrible reality was slowly uncovered, ever so gradually the dark cloud parted until at last we had to look at what was before us.

My husband and I requested a meeting with Sally’s boss. Sally called us over and over again, and so did the higher-ups in her business. They were scared, and the more we dug around, the more we knew why they should be.

Then the sun rose on the truth, and we saw it—I had been cheated and lied to by my best friend. The person I had had named as my children’s guardian if something ever happened to me had stabbed me in the back for her own profit. She’d threatened my ability to provide for my family.

After the pain ebbed and I was able to gain perspective, I learned a very important lesson—if I hadn’t surrounded myself with the right people asking me the right questions, I would have been hurt even more. As it stood, I uncovered the truth in time to make adjustments, stop the damage, and start rebuilding. Soon after, the economy took a dive. Had I not taken action when I did, I would have been completely wiped out.

Having the right people around to warn you about the big dangers is a must if you are going to thrive. So who’s on your team?