A question that often comes up when we talk about taking responsibility for your life is how do we keep our commitments? According to the self-improvement company Growth Climate, a lie is any attempt to deceive. If this is the case, then even if you say yes to something without the intention of doing it, or if you said yes then just don’t do it, you are deceiving others, and often times (and more importantly) yourself.
Am I doomed to be a liar?
No.
Steps to Being in Alignment with Your Commitment
1.    Only say yes to things you intend to do. Sounds easy, but often times people say they will do something, while actually thinking maybe, just maybe they will, but knowing full well when it comes to the day of reckoning they can pull out one of their handy excuses or rationalizations.
◦    ”I didn’t have time.”
◦    ”I forgot.”
◦    ”I didn’t know what you meant …”
2.    Only say yes to things that are in alignment with your values. This is common sense, but often people will say yes to people in leadership or friends, not wanting to hurt feelings, only to have the regret war rage inside of them later.
3.    Release yourself from the obligation. Okay, your committed to something, and you have no plans to do what you said what you said you’d do. It’s time to do the mature thing and tell the person that you committed to that you won’t fulfill that commitment.
Pleasant? Well no. But it is a whole lot easier than being held captive by guilt for years knowing you didn’t honor your word. Worse yet, we could suffer the consequences of being a person that can’t be trusted.
Taking responsibility for your actions and stopping the blaming, shaming, and rationalizing is the number one thing that you can do to transform your life from blah to the life you are capable of living. Making this transformation is an absolutely necessary skill that you must have if you are going to maintain long time royalty of living.
I would love to hear how you are going to take more responsibility today!

Posted in: Uncategorized at 7:30 pm | Comments (0)

Idaho summers are blessed with warm sun, purple mountains dotting the surrounding, lush vegetation, and canals with gently flowing water. Despite the beauty or niceness of the weather, as a teenager liking adrenalin rushes, I had grown bored.
Teasing my boyfriend, Brett, shooting hoops with him, and rocking out to Guns and Roses had lost its juice. As I stewed on the boredom and wondered how to shake things up, I climbed into the back bed of Brett’s old white Ford truck.
“Go,” I shouted at him as he started the truck.
“Are you sure?”
I was.
As he drove over the black asphalt, I watched the road pass me by. He was driving extremely slow. I must have been making him nervous as I inched closer to the edge of the tailgate. He had told me many times that I was unpredictable.
Seeing how slow we were moving, I suddenly had an idea. I called to him, “I could jump this. I bet I’d be fine.”
“Don’t,” he yelled back.
I leapt in the air.
It didn’t take long for me to tumble on the road, screaming about the chipped rocks that embedded themselves into my knee.
Soon Brett was at my side to examine the injury. Through my tears, I looked at him and asked, “Why did you make me do that?”
How many of us are like that … do something stupid, something that we know deep down inside we shouldn’t do, do it anyway, get hurt, then look around for someone else to blame?
Please tell me that I am not the only one. I know through the people I work with that this is a common experience in the corporate world. Often times people engage in the process of what I call, Passing the Hot Potato. This game thrives especially well in environments where the risk to fail is big. Passing the Hot Potato can become a perfect act, and those who are best gifted at this often win. An excellent example of this is found in episodes of the well-known TV show The Apprentice.
In season 7, Celebrity Apprentice Ambrosia bragged to the camera about her craftiness in taking others down with her. She used blaming others as a modus operandi to staying alive.
Ambrosia might have enjoyed the temporary rewards of blaming others like I did. My reward, I got a laugh from Brett. Ambrosia got to stay on the show longer, extended fame, and received pleasure from her cruelty.
But there are consequences. She was very unliked for her lack of morals. This has to grate on anyone in their quiet reflective times. Whereas if you are unliked for staying true to your principles, it is much easier to be with yourself.
If I kept up blaming others for my impulsive actions, I would run the risk of further injuring myself. Did I suffer any long-term consequences for being a truck jumper? Well … now as an adult I have suffered injuries and complications in my knee. Is that a direct result of jumping from the truck? That hasn’t been determined, but it would seem more than probable that the past injury contributed to the weakness in my knee, possibly complicating my later injuries.
What steps can we take to step it up in our life and not be guilty of blaming? Oh, oh, oh, I have the answer. You might think this sounds stupid, or obvious, but trust me this is effective, if you give it a try. Simply take responsibility for your life.
I love to hear how you take responsibility or how you don’t.

Posted in: Uncategorized at 6:39 pm | Comments (0)

1. Determine what areas in your life you want to step it up. Determine what you want the end result to look like, be, and feel like. Create a list.
2. List all the benefits you can foresee from the desired outcome.
3. List all the consequences if you leave things the way they are.
4. Is your motivation strong enough to make a change? Chances are it isn’t, because if it was strong enough you would have accomplished it already.
5. What can you do to increase your motivation? If you need additional help, ask a spouse, child, friend, or coworker for their ideas. (If the consequences benefit them, that might be the perfect motivation for you.)
6. Decide what day you are going to take your first action step and schedule it. Make sure consequences for not doing it are in place.
7. Take the step to living it up life.
8. Celebrate small action steps along the way.

Posted in: Uncategorized at 7:04 pm | Comments (0)

Making the tough decision to do the hard work doesn’t happen naturally for most of us. In fact, if my children are any indicator of what is natural human behavior, our first impulse is to look for any way to get out of work.

When I announce dish duty at the beginning of a chore season, I sometimes get tears and debates about why dishes are not appropriate for that particular child. Either they already learned the dish-doing skill or another sibling hasn’t had as much opportunity to do the dishes. They will say and argue whatever is necessary to avoid the task.

How many of us are exactly like that when it comes to . . . let’s say . . . tax season? We feel like we shouldn’t have to worry about this. Or we wish we didn’t have to mess with that. Although my children don’t like the consequences when they don’t do the dishes, I can tell you that the consequences of not paying your taxes are worse.

Posted in: Uncategorized at 1:31 pm | Comments (0)

Okay, how many of you have made a commitment to stay or get healthy, and do this by cutting back on your sugar? How many of you then proceeded to go to a party where they had the best desserts ever and the host asked if you wanted some. You saw others enjoying the temptation immensely and you decided to just have a taste?

Or, how about you decided that you were going to give up indulging in comfort food in exchange for a better choice. You did excellent for most of the day until the evening. You were starved. Didn’t have time to make dinner and the bag of whatever was sitting right there whispering that it was okay to eat.

These are all examples of how our environment can affect us. Environment and communities can have ample affects in many different areas of your life. It is not limited to food.

For example, I have one of the best mastermind groups ever. We meet together every two weeks on the phone from all over the United States, sometimes the world. This is a group of high functioning, top-of-their-industry, ambitious people.

I can get on the phone after having had a bad day—okay sometimes a bad week—hear their laughter and support, listen to their excitement for life, and I am no longer having a bad day. My hope is reignited and I am ready to tackle the obstacle that is weighing me down.

This is a great environment for me. What are your supportive environments? Often, people find these places with the people or associations that share a similar hobby. You can be weird to the rest of the world but it is a safe haven in a group where your hobby is cool.

Look at the people you surround yourself with and the type of surroundings you have. If they are not inspiring, are there things you can do to change it to become inspiring? How can you set up your environment and community to support you? Oftentimes, support can be found in servicing others in the place that works for your personality and gifts. How can you contribute and make it a win-win?

Posted in: Uncategorized at 8:46 am | Comments (0)

Our next “Step It Up Coaching” call Breaking-Free of Messes and Incompletes is scheduled for June 3, 2009 @ 11 AM Mountain Daylight Time.

In this session of Step It Up Living™ Coaching we will be exploring:

• How to Tackle Messes and Incompletes
• The Six Areas of Messes and Incompletes
• Check List Where the Messes and Incompletes Lurk
• How Incompletes Dramatically Affected Queen Anne’s Rule
• How to Clean Up and Transform Messes in Relationships

This call is for all Step It Up Clients and Bronze Coaching members. Not a member? Join now to access this call.