How many people would get on a plane where the pilot hasn’t yet determined where he or she wants to go other than joyriding? Not many. Yet a lot of individuals journey through their life without a clear outline for their life. Some are even clueless as to what direction they want to head.

How likely is it going to be for them to live the life of fulfillment and passion—a life without regret? If you are one of those people—aimlessly stomping through your day—stop. Get out a pen and start asking yourself:

• What do I want to do before I die?
• What do I want to accomplish?
• What do I want to experience?
• How do I want to be remembered?
• What legacy do I want to leave?
• What would I need to do, or what path would I need to be on, to accomplish it?
• What is the purpose of my life?
• What am I meant to contribute?
• What gives my life meaning and value? Do I have enough of that in my life?

Answering these questions with thought and soul searching can be a great start on the path to clarity.

To learn more about how to create your passionate Step-It-Up Life, visit www.StepItUpQueen.com.

Posted in: Uncategorized at 10:23 pm | Comments (0)

Are you tired? Worn-out? Or just don’t feel like stepping it up? The problem may be that you have confused perfectionism with stepping up for your life purpose and living that life fully.

Many people pursue perfection in particular areas in their lives. Perfectionism is a long, maddening drive down a never-ending road for flawlessness; it provides no rest stops for mistakes, personal limitations or the changing of minds.

Perfectionism can cause feelings of anxiety, fear, and self-doubt; it can cripple self-esteem, stifle creativity, and put a stumbling block in the way of intimate friendships and love relationships. Ultimately, it can create or aggravate illnesses such as eating disorders, manic-depressive mood disorder, obsessive-compulsive disorder and substance abuse.

Perfectionists are those who take accountability, responsibility, and self-discipline to an excess where the joy of doing a job well is zapped away. If you are constantly sloppy in your work, don’t do what you say, and rarely do your best work then perfectionism is not your problem. If you have self-discipline, do a job well, and can be happy with what you are able to accomplish then you too are not guilty of perfectionism. But if you drive yourself and those around you crazy because you can’t satisfy your own standards then there is a problem.

Complete this questionnaire to discover how perfectionistic you are.

• I never do anything halfway; it’s all or nothing for me. Every time.
• People who do things halfway make me angry or disgust me.
• I believe there’s a certain way to do things and they should always be done that way.
• I get angry when I make mistakes. I hate to make them and can hardly forgive myself.
• I often procrastinate on starting projects. I seldom meet deadlines. Or if I do, I kill myself meeting them.
• I feel humiliated when things aren’t perfect.
• I don’t like to admit not knowing how to do something or to being a beginner. If I can’t do something well, I won’t do it.
• People say I expect too much of myself. Or of them.
• In my family, you could never completely measure up to expectations.
• I’m hard on myself when I lose, even if it’s only a friendly game or contest.
• I often withdraw from others and from group activities.
• I don’t think work should be fun or pleasurable.
• Even when I accomplish something, I feel let down or empty.
• I criticize myself and others excessively.
• No matter how much I have done, there’s always more I could do.
• I don’t delegate often and when I do, I always double-check to make sure the job is done right.
• I believe it is possible to do something perfectly and if I keep at it, I can do it perfectly.
• Forgetting and forgiving is not something I do easily or well.

The more yes answers, the more likely it is that you have perfectionist tendencies.

There is a difference between excellence and perfection. Striving to be really good is excellence; trying to be flawless is perfectionism. If you’re concerned about your perfectionist behavior, don’t hesitate to contact me at www.StepItUpQueen.com and learn how to live a more peaceful life.

© Step It Up Queen, LLC

Posted in: Uncategorized at 9:06 pm | Comments (0)

To truly live a Step It Up™ life a person needs to be in alignment with their values. Only when a person is living and making decisions from a place of honoring their values will they experience true fulfillment.

Fulfillment in life is related to how well you are living in alignment with your values. Values are not morals or principles. They are the essence of who you are—not who you think you should be. For instance, money is not a value, whereas the things that money might buy, such as free time, risk-taking, and being of service are values. When you’re aligned with your values, you feel inner harmony, your choices are more easily made, and your actions are in accord with your true self. Take this quiz to see how well you are living in sync with your values.

1. I have spent time clarifying my values and can easily articulate them.
2. My values are my own. I have not simply adopted them from parents, teachers or other outside influences.
3. I based my choice of occupation on my deepest values.
4. My values are in alignment with the company I work for (or own).
5. My business associates and I regularly examine how we are living up to our values and mission.
6. I turn down money-making or status-building opportunities when they conflict with my values.
7. In resolving disputes at work, I look beneath the apparent problem to see if values are being dishonored, and then I seek ways to honor them.
8. Anyone looking at my life from the outside would see what I value.
9. I use my values as a guidepost for making decisions. I ask if a particular choice would bring me closer to—or further from—a core value.
10. When I feel upset, it’s almost always because my values are being trampled—either by me, someone else, or the situation.
11. I am not easily swayed by others’ opinions when they conflict with my values.
12. To remain open and flexible, I am willing to re-examine my values to determine whether something is still true for me.
13. I find creative ways to honor all of my values—even when they conflict with one another.
14. My work values are in harmony with my personal and relationship values.
15. When I live according to my values, I feel satisfied and successful throughout my life.

If you answered false more often than true, you may wish to clarify your deepest values and bring your life into greater alignment with them. Please don’t hesitate to contact Lisa@StepItUpQueen.com if you’d like support in doing this.

Stepping It Up™ to be in sync with your values is all about Stepping It Up™ to live a happy, complete life.

Posted in: Uncategorized at 10:18 am | Comments (0)

As you probably know, there are people in all walks of life who are the greasy pigs.  They have an amazing ability to slip away and not be held accountable.  They say they will do something and then when accountability time arrives, they are gone or looking at someone else to blame.  Often these representatives will say their responsibility is a mistaken perception in others.  It can be confusing working with them because of the forceful conviction they’ve done their job the whole time. The more there’s doubt of what they were supposed to do the more power this person has.

So what does Donald do to weed these people out?  He forms testing grounds where conflict is almost eminent.  The difference between the audition at the beginning of the process is these latter small projects are more in depth and intense, looking further into how the individuals perform.  These small projects will help you know who are the greasy pigs, especially since Donald makes sure the task is due in an impossibly short amount of time.  This puts the pressure cooker on to see if people can remain high functioning, calm, and productive, thus proving their skills and capability for bigger jobs.

Through giving these project management assignments, Donald is able to put his Guerilla Fighters on assignment to be his eyes and ears collecting information on both the subtle and not so subtle.  Through these exercises people reveal true character.  For example Rebecca (season 4): she broke her ankle on an ice skating event and on the heels of that volunteered to be project manger, taking her team to a victory by doing everything necessary and accepting responsibility when things failed, proving she could handle herself well under pressure.  This contrasted nicely with Brent (season 5) or Jim (season 4) or Clay (season 4) who became raving control freaks the moment they came into a position of power and yet blamed others when things didn’t turn out.

We can apply this to our people selection, making sure before we commit we have hard core experience with how they operate when things count.  One simple way to do this is to suddenly change the time of the job interview and sit back to see what they do.  Another way is to give an unexpected assignment with almost impossible deadlines (with the business world the way it is this shouldn’t be hard).  A third possibility is to create a subcommittee and put the people you are considering on the team.  Give these people a challenging but short assignment then watch how well they perform and take responsibility.  They will reveal themselves.

Further Investigation Due to Political Weather

The third stage Donald engages in after weeding out the show horses and slippery pigs is to discover the cunning foxes.  These individuals shift when the individual doesn’t just change what he says, but changes what he is depending on the political weather.  This is how they try to manipulate their agenda.

This type becomes exposed when the political weather is tumultuous, brewing, and everything seems to be a stake.  A perfect example of this was seen in some of the last episodes in season 5 where Allie and Roxanne, best friends went to the board room.  It seemed that one of them had to be eliminated.  They fought to remain on the show.  At the end both girls set aside their friendship and tore each other apart.  Donald was so disgusted he fired both of them on the spot.

Donald was able to reveal from these tense situations the true loyalties that these individuals had.  So how do we create similar test grounds for people we are thinking about hiring to a big position or people we are considering promoting to an important position?  There are many possibilities.  Hiring a workshop leader that puts these potentials through exercises that reveal people’s nature.  One idea is to have the potential team member play a game specifically designed to show peoples’ loyalties.  Another possibility is to create a task that the success of it would put friends on opposing ends then sit back and watch.  Let the political weather uncover who the individuals really are.

Pay close attention to people’s behavior, especially when they are under stress or feel like they are being attacked.  If the person shows disloyalty or willingness to do other things that lack character, think about what Donald Trump does and dismiss them.  He takes no chances with shaky behavior and if you want a strong company neither will you.

Posted in: Uncategorized at 6:46 pm | Comments (0)

Often times when people start getting swallowed up with being overwhelmed, their vision narrows to tunnel. They hyper-focus on the issues pressing upon them, risking the loss of perspective and the gain of amplified stress. If this condition lasts long enough, they hit burnout and languish. In other cases, people react to being overwhelmed by being underwhelmed: they shut down constructive responses and go into some form of withdrawal. When either of these—or any other self-defeating response—happens, there are options…

Option #1. Become anxious and start worrying obsessively about all the things that can go wrong. Let your imagination run wild. The worse you can project the final outcome to be, the better. With this option, common physical side-effects will be an upset stomach, headaches, and shallowness of breath. Not to mention people who choose this option become irritable, not fun to be with, even go somewhat crazy.

Option #2. Pretend nothing bad is happening. Pretend that any irritation you are having at the current situation is a momentary lapse from looking at the bright side of life. Make sure any disturbing feeling is not acknowledged, or if it is recognized, then shove it down. If you are asked how you are handling the situation, smile broadly and say, “Great.” Or play dumb, “What situation?” Then turn the tables on the person by asking, “Why are you making a big deal out of nothing?”

The risk of option 2 is that very likely your feelings will ooze out of you like a leaking radiator, and despite the good face you’re showing the world, stains will be left behind wherever you interact. People may react to or withdraw from you, adding to your tension and isolation. Not to mention that you cannot resolve problems that are not admitted, encouraging things to worsen.

Option #3. Honestly acknowledge the stress and compounding of the problems, then stop to see the beauty in the present moment. Beauty? Does that sound funny?

Posted in: Uncategorized at 7:00 am | Comments (0)

When building a house, I much prefer catching the mistakes in the planning stage then in any other stage.  It just saves so much money and time.  Unfortunately, I can’t always catch my mistakes at that stage.  The faster I catch them, the less headache they’ll cause.  Problems usually become worse the longer they are let go.

Don’t be afraid to admit that you are on the wrong path.  You made a mistake.  Course correct.  The only time it really is too late is when you are dead.  So, no matter how far down the path you are on, once you recognize that it truly is the wrong path or veering off course, take immediate steps to get on the right one.

Posted in: Uncategorized at 7:00 am | Comments (0)

Have you ever been dragging through life and going through the motions when suddenly you are shown something, or told a tip, or given some information that transforms what you have been doing and takes your project or your efforts to a whole new level? This is what learning is all about. The trick is for those of you who are like me—learning addicts—to learn the right things at the right time.

For the past year I have been on an information diet where I only learn and focus on what I absolutely need to know in order to get to the next level of whatever I am pursuing. It is amazing how this single focus is allowing me to transform my life. I am less stressed. The right information is getting to me faster and I am being juiced with energy to keep on keeping on.

Posted in: Uncategorized at 7:00 am | Comments (0)

The most joyful and complete moments come out of having deeply enriching relationships. Being connected on a deep level to our spouse, our children and our friends is where all the goodness is at. There is a type of joy found in these relationships and a richness that can’t be found anywhere else. It is worth the price it takes to make those relationships healthy.

Posted in: Uncategorized at 7:00 am | Comments (0)

We all know them…the folks who MUST CONTROL EVERYTHING. Perhaps it’s the mother-in-law whom you secretly call “Controller of the Universe,” or the boss at work who has to have a hand in every little detail of your work, or the parent who directs every aspect of their child’s life. However well-meaning controlling people might be, their actions often result in alienation, resentment and a lack of intimacy with loved ones. When they have a choice, people don’t usually like to be around controlling individuals. As a business owner, you might think, “So.  I don’t care if people like me.”  But the problem there is people do business with people they like.  It’s important to build business relationships and maintain trust and respect.  Part of doing that  is by not controlling.  Take this quiz to see how controlling you might be.

Set 1

1. I discourage the people around me from expressing anger, fear or sadness.

2. It aggravates me when others don’t want to do something the way I suggest; I’m only trying to help them.

3. I hate to admit to others that I am wrong or make mistakes; in fact, I rarely do.

4. I’d rather do most things myself.

5. Others probably describe me as driven and rarely satisfied. I admit to being a perfectionist.

6. When someone goes against my advice or suggestions, I tend to withdraw my affection; but when people do what I say, I’ll lavish the praise.

7. I take it as disloyalty or personal rejection when others act or feel differently than I do.

8. When I’m in a relationship, I want to know where my significant other is all the time.

9. I know what’s best for others; that’s why they should listen to what I have to say.

10. When watching television with others, I have to have the remote. Similarly, when in a car with others, I feel uncomfortable unless I’m the driver.

11. I am easily irritated, especially by others’ incompetence or rebelliousness.

Set 2

1. I encourage others to express their true feelings around me.

2. I would rather people be themselves than try to please me, and that they do things out of choice, not obligation.

3. It doesn’t bother me when others question or disagree with me. In fact, I enjoy a lively debate.

4. I steer clear of micromanaging family members or employees, and instead encourage independence and independent thinking.

5. I choose not to focus on power, prestige or perfection; I hold others to be the best they can be, while remaining true to themselves.

6. I find it easy to relax, laugh or be spontaneous.

7. I value stability and consistency, and don’t get caught up in chaos and drama.

8. Getting someone to do something by yelling at them isn’t something that works for me.

If you answered true more often in Set 1 and false more often in Set 2, you may wish to examine where your urge to control is coming from. Most often, fear is the deep culprit. Learning how to approach and handle fear in a positive manner helps us accept others—and ourselves—better. And doing so sets us up for better relationships, better health and better self-esteem. Please don’t hesitate to email if you’d like to explore this issue in your life.

Posted in: Uncategorized at 10:07 pm | Comments (2)

Isn’t it sad that for most of us we have to lose what is most precious in order to understand and appreciate the value of what we had? Death has a way of really highlighting what a person or relationship meant to us. As I have lost my friends to the grim reaper, I have come to appreciate that the people in my life aren’t always going to be there. The people that I count on and love are a blessing if they stay in my life for a few short days or for years or even decades.

I used to be the worst at events where people meet and grow close, knowing that you more than likely will never see those people again. It used to rip my heart to shreds. I wouldn’t want to get to know anyone because I didn’t want to feel the pain of loss. I still don’t like that pain and I still wish that I could build and maintain relationships with people with whom I have connected, but I have learned this truth: I am going to value the time I have with them whether it be for a few brief moments in a grocery store line or as lifelong friends. Having other people in my life is a blessing.

The people that you meet are there for a reason. To get the true richness out of life, cherish the moments and the memories that you have.

Posted in: Uncategorized at 7:00 am | Comments (0)