Divorce forces us to reevaluate ourselves. Many people who have been divorced struggle to understand what happened. Whether the divorce was something that suddenly took place or went for months, even years, the frustration, anger, and rejection are feelings that must be explored and put to rest. Unresolved issues often lead to projection (a person is blamed for the mistakes of another), which can destroy new relationships. Some individuals will see their new spouse do something that reminds them of a behavior that their ex-spouse did, and it will trigger a reaction sequence. This trigger may cause the person to put up a wall or get upset. Ironically, the new spouse will have no idea what they’ve done wrong, they will only know that their new partner is acting strangely and often with hostility.
Overwhelmed?Stressed?I have been and I have made the discovery that just about every time I hit these roadblocks it is because of one thing—I don’t have the right systems in place.
A person can quickly shoot from zero to off-the-scale in stress if they are working on a time-sensitive project that simply must be done, and then suddenly they can’t find a piece of critical information that they must have in order to proceed.When you don’t have the time and you must have something, that is a recipe for stress.
Surrounding yourself with piles of to-do’s can always add stress in unconscious ways which you will be carrying around until you come up with a system of dealing with it.
If you are saying yes to too many things and can’t possibly get to all you have committed to, then again you haven’t got a proper system in place to handle the inflow-outflow balance.
Stressed because your in-laws—or, for most of us, our outlaws—are coming to visit?Chances are you don’t have a good enough system in place to handle the distressing matter of that interaction.
Look at the areas of your life that are causing the balance to shift to feeling overwhelmed or stressed and start hunting around for improved systems that can be implemented immediately.
