Commandment 5: Expect Ambivalence  Some children feel like they’re betraying their biological parent if they treat a stepparent well. However, they also realize that one of their parents chose to marry you. As a result, the child may feel torn between both parents. If you expect this to happen, it will be easier to prevent yourself from getting too defensive when your stepchild gives you the cold shoulder, doesn’t respond to your advice, or criticizes you.  

Commandment 6: Avoid Mealtime Misery  Common rituals can be a torment to your child. They are used to having both of their biological parents together. When a stepparent is introduced and it is mealtime, the child has a stark reminder of just how much their life has changed. The same holds true for other common rituals such as birthdays, Sunday observance, and holidays. The challenge all new families face is creating new rituals that the child can learn to enjoy. Having the child involved in new traditions can help build the bridge.

Posted in: Divorce Recovery at 11:31 am