In this episode we drive in deep on how to keep yourself
on track when you are a busy person. We give you options
on figuring out what’s best for you.

Lisa

PS I just have to say my favorite part of this episode is the monkey.
Do you love your monkey?

This past week I got the privilege to hang out with a lot of life coaches. It is always fun for me to be with my peeps. There is just one thing I don’t get about them. They are constantly talking about life purpose. “I help people discover their life purpose,” is a frequent expression that I hear from them. That always makes me do a double take. Hmmm. How does a person know what their life purpose is? Does a divine messenger come down from heaven and say, “Boom, here is your purpose?” I am serious, what is life purpose all about and how does one really know what God’s reasoning was when He got involved in creating you?

Before you answer, I have been through coaching school and I went through the course on life purpose and I thought it was really quite silly. Really what it boiled down to is a person declaring this is the reason why they were put on this earth and this is the impact that they are going to make. Can a person really know why they were put on the earth? Can people REALLY know the impact that they are going to have? Does it really matter? I get the importance of being more authentic to yourself and to align yourself with a higher Source. I see the benefits of that in my clients’ lives all the time. I see results with learning and operating in your zone. Truthfully I haven’t seen any results from someone saying this is my life purpose other than be happy that they think they have it. But I bet most people are like me and forget what I decided my purpose was a few weeks later.

Does anyone have a good answer to this or are a lot of life coaches just making much ado about nothing?

Watch this video below to learn of the secret for the introvert.

Please comment and let me know what you think.

Lisa

I am surely not the only person who has ever fallen prey to a salesperson. What if I told you about a simple way to stay grounded and not be bulldozed by others’ wants? When I first launched my business, I was a nervous, shy, stay-at-home mom feeling awkward as she tried to pull herself off as a professional in a world she knew nothing about and didn’t believe she belonged in. My insecurity reached its height when I decided to board a plane and fly clear across the country to the heart of business: New York City.

My friend and I had gotten it in our heads that we were going to go to the National Speakers Convention to drive a lot of business. There were only several problems with this—one, I had just barely earned my membership to NSA and was still unsure about being a professional speaker; I’d convinced myself of my own inadequacy. Second, I was pregnant again and felt awful. My constant prayer was, Please don’t let me throw-up on anyone.

Then there was the third problem, which in its own way was bigger than the first two: I am introverted by nature, and when put in public situations where small talk is required, I become completely lost. Unlike my husband, who is awesome at small talk and engagement, I often go blank and have no idea how to maneuver myself through the situation. I would be rich if I were paid for how many times my husband has said to me, “Why didn’t you say…” Door-to-door salesmen loved me because I was tongue-tied when they showed up. As a result, I had a cupboard full of cleaners, painting, magazines and more.

So there I was, feeling inadequate, nauseous, and lacking networking skills.  My friend was more street smart than I was, and instead of being afraid of New York, she loved it, but she was new to business too and also had doubts of how to navigate that world. We were the stay-at-home mom dual.

We decked ourselves out in our best outfits, walked our confident strut, and strolled into the reception area of the conference. After mingling a bit, we decided the safest place for us was the bookstore.

We began browsing and made it to the second row when a man in an outdated, powder-blue, worn-out suit found me. His suit must have grown tired from the effort of trying to cover his extended stomach. He greeted us with a smile and immediately began pitching his expensive product.

“No, thanks,” I said quickly and tried to walk on.

He blocked my path and looked at my name tag, “Ah, you are the Step It Up Queen. You need to ‘step it up’ and buy my product. Or are you afraid?”

I froze, staring at him. I didn’t want to buy his product, but I definitely didn’t want to not step it up either.

“Um . . .”

“Come on, are you the Queen, or what?” he cajoled me.

Nothing. Blank. Trapped.

My friend interrupted, “Ah, but she gets to make her own rules about how she steps it up.”

I looked at her, thought about what she said. “Yeah. I get to make my own rules. And that’s rule number one to step-it-up living.”

What a great idea! Make your own rules about how you show up in your life and what you do. This simple comeback from my friend became the key I needed to fend off pushy sales people and countless others wanting to talk me into doing things or buying things that go against what’s the right path for me. So whenever I feel guilted, pressured, or smothered, I remember—I make my own rules to how I live my life.

This rule frees me up to live my life. It has also freed me from worrying if I fit in, am good enough, and so on.. Now I live the life I want to live. I’m writing the books I want to write, giving the speeches I want to give, and coaching the people I want to coach. I’m having a great step-it-up life.

So here’s a question: Do you have a similar key? Does it need sharpening? What rules do you want to make? Next time you feel pressured, guilted, or cajoled, remember that you get to make your own rules.

How many people would get on a plane where the pilot hasn’t yet determined where he or she wants to go other than joyriding? Not many. Yet a lot of individuals journey through their life without a clear outline for their life. Some are even clueless as to what direction they want to head.

How likely is it going to be for them to live the life of fulfillment and passion—a life without regret? If you are one of those people—aimlessly stomping through your day—stop. Get out a pen and start asking yourself:

• What do I want to do before I die?
• What do I want to accomplish?
• What do I want to experience?
• How do I want to be remembered?
• What legacy do I want to leave?
• What would I need to do, or what path would I need to be on, to accomplish it?
• What is the purpose of my life?
• What am I meant to contribute?
• What gives my life meaning and value? Do I have enough of that in my life?

Answering these questions with thought and soul searching can be a great start on the path to clarity.

To learn more about how to create your passionate Step-It-Up Life, visit www.StepItUpQueen.com.

As you probably know, there are people in all walks of life who are the greasy pigs.  They have an amazing ability to slip away and not be held accountable.  They say they will do something and then when accountability time arrives, they are gone or looking at someone else to blame.  Often these representatives will say their responsibility is a mistaken perception in others.  It can be confusing working with them because of the forceful conviction they’ve done their job the whole time. The more there’s doubt of what they were supposed to do the more power this person has.

So what does Donald do to weed these people out?  He forms testing grounds where conflict is almost eminent.  The difference between the audition at the beginning of the process is these latter small projects are more in depth and intense, looking further into how the individuals perform.  These small projects will help you know who are the greasy pigs, especially since Donald makes sure the task is due in an impossibly short amount of time.  This puts the pressure cooker on to see if people can remain high functioning, calm, and productive, thus proving their skills and capability for bigger jobs.

Through giving these project management assignments, Donald is able to put his Guerilla Fighters on assignment to be his eyes and ears collecting information on both the subtle and not so subtle.  Through these exercises people reveal true character.  For example Rebecca (season 4): she broke her ankle on an ice skating event and on the heels of that volunteered to be project manger, taking her team to a victory by doing everything necessary and accepting responsibility when things failed, proving she could handle herself well under pressure.  This contrasted nicely with Brent (season 5) or Jim (season 4) or Clay (season 4) who became raving control freaks the moment they came into a position of power and yet blamed others when things didn’t turn out.

We can apply this to our people selection, making sure before we commit we have hard core experience with how they operate when things count.  One simple way to do this is to suddenly change the time of the job interview and sit back to see what they do.  Another way is to give an unexpected assignment with almost impossible deadlines (with the business world the way it is this shouldn’t be hard).  A third possibility is to create a subcommittee and put the people you are considering on the team.  Give these people a challenging but short assignment then watch how well they perform and take responsibility.  They will reveal themselves.

Further Investigation Due to Political Weather

The third stage Donald engages in after weeding out the show horses and slippery pigs is to discover the cunning foxes.  These individuals shift when the individual doesn’t just change what he says, but changes what he is depending on the political weather.  This is how they try to manipulate their agenda.

This type becomes exposed when the political weather is tumultuous, brewing, and everything seems to be a stake.  A perfect example of this was seen in some of the last episodes in season 5 where Allie and Roxanne, best friends went to the board room.  It seemed that one of them had to be eliminated.  They fought to remain on the show.  At the end both girls set aside their friendship and tore each other apart.  Donald was so disgusted he fired both of them on the spot.

Donald was able to reveal from these tense situations the true loyalties that these individuals had.  So how do we create similar test grounds for people we are thinking about hiring to a big position or people we are considering promoting to an important position?  There are many possibilities.  Hiring a workshop leader that puts these potentials through exercises that reveal people’s nature.  One idea is to have the potential team member play a game specifically designed to show peoples’ loyalties.  Another possibility is to create a task that the success of it would put friends on opposing ends then sit back and watch.  Let the political weather uncover who the individuals really are.

Pay close attention to people’s behavior, especially when they are under stress or feel like they are being attacked.  If the person shows disloyalty or willingness to do other things that lack character, think about what Donald Trump does and dismiss them.  He takes no chances with shaky behavior and if you want a strong company neither will you.

When building a house, I much prefer catching the mistakes in the planning stage then in any other stage.  It just saves so much money and time.  Unfortunately, I can’t always catch my mistakes at that stage.  The faster I catch them, the less headache they’ll cause.  Problems usually become worse the longer they are let go.

Don’t be afraid to admit that you are on the wrong path.  You made a mistake.  Course correct.  The only time it really is too late is when you are dead.  So, no matter how far down the path you are on, once you recognize that it truly is the wrong path or veering off course, take immediate steps to get on the right one.

Have you ever been dragging through life and going through the motions when suddenly you are shown something, or told a tip, or given some information that transforms what you have been doing and takes your project or your efforts to a whole new level? This is what learning is all about. The trick is for those of you who are like me—learning addicts—to learn the right things at the right time.

For the past year I have been on an information diet where I only learn and focus on what I absolutely need to know in order to get to the next level of whatever I am pursuing. It is amazing how this single focus is allowing me to transform my life. I am less stressed. The right information is getting to me faster and I am being juiced with energy to keep on keeping on.

The most joyful and complete moments come out of having deeply enriching relationships. Being connected on a deep level to our spouse, our children and our friends is where all the goodness is at. There is a type of joy found in these relationships and a richness that can’t be found anywhere else. It is worth the price it takes to make those relationships healthy.

We all know them…the folks who MUST CONTROL EVERYTHING. Perhaps it’s the mother-in-law whom you secretly call “Controller of the Universe,” or the boss at work who has to have a hand in every little detail of your work, or the parent who directs every aspect of their child’s life. However well-meaning controlling people might be, their actions often result in alienation, resentment and a lack of intimacy with loved ones. When they have a choice, people don’t usually like to be around controlling individuals. As a business owner, you might think, “So.  I don’t care if people like me.”  But the problem there is people do business with people they like.  It’s important to build business relationships and maintain trust and respect.  Part of doing that  is by not controlling.  Take this quiz to see how controlling you might be.

Set 1

1. I discourage the people around me from expressing anger, fear or sadness.

2. It aggravates me when others don’t want to do something the way I suggest; I’m only trying to help them.

3. I hate to admit to others that I am wrong or make mistakes; in fact, I rarely do.

4. I’d rather do most things myself.

5. Others probably describe me as driven and rarely satisfied. I admit to being a perfectionist.

6. When someone goes against my advice or suggestions, I tend to withdraw my affection; but when people do what I say, I’ll lavish the praise.

7. I take it as disloyalty or personal rejection when others act or feel differently than I do.

8. When I’m in a relationship, I want to know where my significant other is all the time.

9. I know what’s best for others; that’s why they should listen to what I have to say.

10. When watching television with others, I have to have the remote. Similarly, when in a car with others, I feel uncomfortable unless I’m the driver.

11. I am easily irritated, especially by others’ incompetence or rebelliousness.

Set 2

1. I encourage others to express their true feelings around me.

2. I would rather people be themselves than try to please me, and that they do things out of choice, not obligation.

3. It doesn’t bother me when others question or disagree with me. In fact, I enjoy a lively debate.

4. I steer clear of micromanaging family members or employees, and instead encourage independence and independent thinking.

5. I choose not to focus on power, prestige or perfection; I hold others to be the best they can be, while remaining true to themselves.

6. I find it easy to relax, laugh or be spontaneous.

7. I value stability and consistency, and don’t get caught up in chaos and drama.

8. Getting someone to do something by yelling at them isn’t something that works for me.

If you answered true more often in Set 1 and false more often in Set 2, you may wish to examine where your urge to control is coming from. Most often, fear is the deep culprit. Learning how to approach and handle fear in a positive manner helps us accept others—and ourselves—better. And doing so sets us up for better relationships, better health and better self-esteem. Please don’t hesitate to email if you’d like to explore this issue in your life.