How do you focus on the essential things when there is always a fire to put out? So often, business owners don’t know what the important things are. You need focus!

A sign that you need focus is you’re working harder and harder without getting results.

Have you ever felt like you didn’t belong? Like you were an intruder or that the way you did life was just so different than others? If you have felt this way, how did you handle it when times started getting harder and criticism started swirling?

Well for me, when I feel this way, I put up a wall. I found the more successful I become the more petty criticisms and rejections increased from people I thought were my friends and from jealous associates. I have felt myself become robotic, resisting connecting on a friendship level with others, until I flew to California for a business meeting.

I was there for business–to be professional, get business done, but the people there thankfully wanted more connection from me. They chipped away at my wall until I just had to believe in humanity again, well most of it anyway. They were so embracing of me and my quirks that an eternal flame of hope sprung again.

Although try as I may to make business professional, I’ve realized underneath it all there is still a big need for relationships and everyone, including me (ouch), has needs as simple as finding a place of resting from the storm.

I was blessed with some respite and now am ready to go back into the storm clothed with an extra layer of humanity.

This post hasn’t been easy for me to admit to. I feel much more comfortable being the chick with attitude. It would really help me if you comment and let me know that I am not alone in this or that you disagree. Please comment below. Love to hear your stories.

Love to hear how you get caught in the small stuff or how you avoid it. Please comment below.

This ability to bounce back and get creative is a great talent that if applied to business more often the hard times wouldn’t last as long and the hard times would be more enjoyable.

Checkout the experience my younger kids were able to create for themselves after hanging out in the hospital room for five hours. Of course I think they are funny.

I’d love to hear how you are able to find the fun and be creative when the hard times hit you.

Insecure. Photo: Kaitlyn Nicole Photography

by Dr. Joe Rubino

Studies show that at least 85% or more of the world’s people suffer from some degree of lacking self-esteem. Although one might think that such challenges are only characteristic of the poor, uneducated, or lower socio-economic members of society, people from all walks of life can suffer situational or more widespread challenges with their levels of self-esteem.

Many very successful business people lack self-esteem in some areas of their lives. Perhaps they feel socially challenged or they have difficulty establishing close or intimate relationships. Perhaps they experience low self-esteem with regard to their physical appearance or their health. Perhaps they are not having any fun in their lives, maybe devoting too much attention to their work. Many “successful” people are driven to succeed. They compensate for feeling deficient in other areas of their lives by working harder and finding a place they can excel through their work. This provides them with a new focus where they can win but it doesn’t fulfill their neglected needs in other areas like relationships, recreation, personal and spiritual development, health and appearance, and their ability to lead balanced, fun, and fulfilling lives.

Many of those lacking self-esteem in other areas find themselves driven to accomplish, driven to prove their worth. Since business is an area where they can shine, they neglect other areas to focus excessively on business.

However, since their actions are built upon the erroneous belief that they are somehow not good enough, somehow defective or unworthy of being fully loved and accepted, there is little lasting satisfaction even in the arenas where they can excel. It’s as though they are climbing a ladder with the top of the ladder in the clouds. They think that if they can just climb high enough, they will be successful. They will have proven their worth. They will find satisfaction, happiness, and fulfillment. However, as they climb higher and higher, they never seem to arrive. There are always new goals and objectives challenging them to prove their worth. The more they achieve, the more they have yet to go. Try as they will, they never seem to fully measure up. Or, if they do, it is short-lived and fleeting at best. There is no arriving to the point where they find what they long for so badly ‒ the peace of mind that comes from self-love and self-acceptance.

Because the foundation of their ladder is grounded on quicksand, they often find themselves sinking as rapidly as they climb. In fact, from their perspective, they will never reach the perfection they seek so badly. They will always find evidence to highlight their flaws and reinforce their fears of being unworthy, unlovable, defective in some way.

No one needs to settle for a dimmed existence due to a lacking sense of self-worth. If our energy is spent by being preoccupied with our weaknesses or being incomplete with our past, we can never be fully present to today and so we sacrifice our true potential to bring about a result.

Our relationships suffer as we will misinterpret the words and actions of others in a way that invalidates us and has us feel badly about who we are. We may be so driven to prove we are good enough that we sacrifice our personal effectiveness and charisma by focusing on ourselves and our deficiencies rather than on the wants and needs of others. We may play small and hide out in social situations or whenever the possibility of looking bad or “being found out” comes up for us. Or, we may overcompensate and turn to workaholic tendencies out of a desire to prove our worth to others or to ourselves. Because of this misdirected focus, we trade our ability to impact others maximally and to best contribute our gifts to the world.

The answer to escaping the vicious cycle of lacking self-esteem, diminished confidence, and the never-ending, frustrating quest for fulfillment lies in the 3-step process I lay out in detail in The Self-Esteem Book. The process starts with healing one’s past so that it no longer robs us of energy and consumes our attention. Once the pull of past ghosts is complete, we can then turn our attention to properly analyzing our present state of affairs. We can identify what’s working in our lives and what’s missing to support living an upset-free life in choice, a life that honors our most important values and inspires us to live passionately.

And finally, we can take that magic wand that is our birthright, wave it over our lives, and design our future deliberately. We can choose to do so in a way that excites us, as we cast off that gloomy state of low self-esteem, unhealthy resignation, and self-pity that no longer supports us. We can live with the intention to honor our God-given magnificence and lead happy, fulfilled lives that fully contribute to others as we share our gifts with the world.

Dr. Joe Rubino is an internationally acclaimed personal development trainer, life-changing success and life-optimization coach, and bestselling author of 12 books available worldwide in 23 languages. He is the CEO of The Center for Personal Reinvention, an organization that has impacted the lives of more than 2 million people through personal and leadership development programs, providing participants with tools to maximize their happiness, self-esteem, communication skills, productivity, and personal effectiveness.

Special Announcement! Starting May 16, for the first time ever, 16 world-leading self-improvement and business experts are coming together online to guide you through a step-by-step program to “magnetize” the blooming life and successful business you’ve always wanted.

You’ll learn first-hand from experts like Mary Morrissey, Jim Donovan, Crystal Andrus, Jeanna Gabellini, Dr. Sue Morter, Kathleen Gage, Dr. Joe Rubino, Cari Murphy, and more

Click here to grab your Free Ticket!

Not a day goes by that thousands of people decide to take the “BIG LEAP” to attempt to sell something online with the dream of making untold amounts of money. As quickly as they dare to dream most will let go of the dream because they have not had a flood of buyers clicking their “Buy Now” button.

Discouraged, they shake their head, shut off the computer, sigh deeply, convinced they will never make money online nor fulfill their dream.

The bad news is, this is a more common scenario than not. The good news is, it doesn’t have to be this way.

As with virtually anything, there is a formula for success. Contrary to what many people may think, the most important part of the formula is one’s mindset. With the right mindset you are willing to do what it takes to move closer to your dream every day; you think in terms of possibility rather than limitation and you attract opportunity to yourself that can often amaze you and others.

Those who understand the energetic side of business also understand building a successful business is just that, building a business. It is not about a “get rich quick” scenario. It is about laying a foundation, having a vision, finding the right mentors and information, doing the footwork, and letting go of the outcome.

Although many people may not think so, when you see your business as a vehicle to do something for the good of others as well as to create a very abundant lifestyle, it actually becomes easier to overcome the inevitable obstacles you may encounter.

Who You Surround Yourself With

One of the most important things you need to do is surround yourself with those who can help you to believe in your vision, lift you up during times of frustration, and let you know when you are being unrealistic or getting off track with your dreams of a successful business.

There is a Universal law ‒ you reap what you sow. In other words, whatever you want you have to be willing to give.

A perfect example are those people who want to get paid for their services but they hesitate to pay others for their services, information, and products.

Making money on the Internet is about energy. If you are not willing to invest in your knowledge base and development, why should others pay you? If you are constantly looking for what you can get for free or trying to convince someone to give you their paid products for free, what do you think you are attracting to yourself?

You Have to Invest

I have worked in the world of Internet marketing for many years. In the time I have been making my living exclusively by means of Internet marketing methods, I have witnessed some pretty astonishing things. One of the most common is how people seem to think that they should get everything for free and not have to invest at all in their business development. They do fall into the mindset of “something for nothing”.

They think nothing of constantly trying to get something for nothing yet think others should pay for everything they have to offer. It simply does not work this way.

Don’t make the mistake of trying to get everything for free. In many ways, this supports a lack mentality.

Again, it’s the Universal law ‒ you reap what you sow. Those who have an aversion to paying for information will find it difficult to attract paying customers. This is directly in line with the Law of Attraction.

If we believe we can’t afford to spend any money to build a business, we are energetically putting up a wall to our own abundance.

It’s Easy to Attract Money

One of the easiest ways to attract money into your business is to willingly pay others for their products and services.

However, you have to be discerning in your investments. Avoid the opposite thinking of having to buy anything and everything that comes your way.

A few simple guidelines that can make all the difference in the world are have a vision, be flexible, invest as needed in information, hire mentors, learn what you need to, be realistic but be willing to stretch yourself.

One of the greatest challenges will be to not get seduced by all the “bright shiny objects” you will encounter. You can quickly be taken off course if you are not aware of what you need to do and don’t need to do.

What’s Your Vision?

Something that can help a great deal is to develop a vision board. Included in your vision should be more than the outward things you wish to achieve. Start with the lifestyle you want to create. Take the vision beyond the obvious or simply the outward achievements and financial gains.

If you want to make money simply to make money, you can do this. However, you will find it is much easier to burn out and give up if your sole motivator is making money.

What is the higher purpose for what you do? What would you be able to do for causes that are important to you if money were not an issue? Myself, I love being able to help out animal rescue organizations; homeless shelters, literacy programs, etc. Because my business is profitable I am able to do this without the fear I won’t have enough to pay my bills.

It wasn’t always this way. There was a time I was so concerned about spending anything that I continually created the reality of not having enough to do all I wanted to do. As I grasped the concept of reaping what you sow, little by little my thinking and my actions changed. So much in fact, that now I have a very deep sense of gratitude each and every time I contribute to worthy causes.

In closing, here’s what I recommend you do. Think of the life you would like to live. What will having this life do for you and others? Where can you make a difference by creating this? Who can you impact? What organizations can you support?

Once you have this vision clearly defined, the next question to ask is, “What am I willing to do to achieve this? What knowledge do I need, what books should I read, what courses should I take, what mentors should I hire?”

By identify not only what you want, but also what you need to do to get this, you are in a much better position to achieve your outcome in ways that will amaze and surprise you.

About Kathleen Gage

Kathleen Gage, aka “The Street Smarts Marketer,” is CEO and founder of Turning Point, Inc. and Maxwell Publishing. She is a bestselling author; an Internet marketing and publicity expert; and an award-winning keynote speaker.

Special Announcement! Starting May 16, for the first time ever, 16 world-leading self-improvement and business experts are coming together online to guide you through a step-by-step program to “magnetize” the blooming life and successful business you’ve always wanted.

You’ll learn first-hand from experts like Mary Morrissey, Jim Donovan, Crystal Andrus, Jeanna Gabellini, Dr. Sue Morter, Kathleen Gage, Dr. Joe Rubino, Cari Murphy, and more.

Click here to grab your Free Ticket!

Deeply believe in your dream, or you will fall short. God already knows you are perfect; now is the time for you to believe in yourself. With God’s help, you can find that exquisite core you’ve kept hidden away and bring it out into the light.

About Mary Morrissey

Mary Morrissey is the author of two bestselling books, No Less Than Greatness and Building Your Field of Dreams ‒ which became a PBS special. She has spoken three times at the United Nations and facilitated three different week-long meetings with His Holiness The Dalai Lama. Mary has a Master’s Degree in Counseling Psychology and an honorary Doctorate in Humane Letters.

As a highly sought after inspirational speaker, executive coach, and corporate consultant, Mary has 30 years experience of empowering individuals in achieving new heights of spiritual aliveness, wealth, and authentic success.

Special Announcement! Starting May 16, for the first time ever, 16 world-leading self-improvement and business experts are coming together online to guide you through a step-by-step program to “magnetize” the blooming life and successful business you’ve always wanted.

You’ll learn first-hand from experts like Mary Morrissey, Jim Donovan, Crystal Andrus, Jeanna Gabellini, Dr. Sue Morter, Kathleen Gage, Dr. Joe Rubino, Cari Murphy, and more.

Click here to grab your Free Ticket!

Over the years I begged, pleaded and then finally gave up on my son ever getting his eagle.  Nothing worked.  Then a neighbor talked to him and something clicked in his head and he was on fire and determined to earn it.   The determination continued until the last few minutes where he could submit his papers–minutes before midnight on his eighteenth birthday everything aligned up.

We recently had his court of honor and I got to beam the proud mother smile.

How many of you have given up on something and then in the midnight hour things turned around?  How many of you had an experience where a neighbor turned everything around?  I would love to hear your comments.