4 Tips for Enjoying Thanksgiving

Friday, 20th November 2015

Thanksgiving is supposed to be a time of gratitude, closeness with family, and lots of laughs. Often times it turns out to be filled with disappointment, loneliness, and sadness. Why? Because our culture—movies, TV, church, breed thick expectations around the holidays.

Here are tips on how to make your Thanksgiving more enjoyable:

  1. Figure out what’s most important to you and focus on that. Is it having a meal with your family? Playing or watching football? Or surviving the day?

When I do this, I make sure I have control over the outcome as I pick what’s most important. I would not pick having all of my family for a Thanksgiving meal even though I’d love it if they were all there. This expectation would upset me when someone bails out. I can however decide to be loving and supportive to those who do show up and choose to make that most important.


  1. Increase self-care. Why is it when we need self-care the most, we decrease self-care time instead of increase it? To increase self-care means increase your sleep, take your vitamins, exercise, meditate, take time to read your favorite book or just take time alone.

Visiting family is the best time to be at your best. If you have your needs met, you have a higher chance of avoiding family drama.


  1. Let go of the need to be perfect. Loved ones will remember how you treated them and made them feel more than what you fed or bought them.



  1. Remember there is no such thing as a perfect turkey, neighborhood, or tradition. Learning to accept things as ‘good enough’ is a much harder practice then it looks at first, but if you learn to accept ‘good enough’; years of life will be restored to you.


There are many other important tips to get you through Thanksgiving, but mostly remember it’s common to feel lonely even if surrounded by people. Others will always be disappointed and longing for something different. If you find yourself slipping into melancholy, the best way out of the funk is by being kind to yourself and lowering or letting go of expectations to enjoy “what is.”

Set Yourself Apart from Your Competitors

Monday, 2nd June 2014

How do you set yourself apart from your competitors? This is an important marketing and business question that most business owners find themselves answering on a semi-regular basis. If your business is based on craft or a skill that you love to do not only would you be answering this question based on marketing distinction but the business owners often ask this question from the point-of-view of improving their craft or skill.

The path of mastery is an ambitious journey and one that requires dedication. In


the book Talent Is Overrated, it is explained that scientific research suggests that the more time a person puts into their craft, the more likely he/she will achieve the top mastery level. The book also suggests that one of the biggest determining factors to help you soar in mastering your craft is how often and how well you engage in practice. Not just any practice, but a different method from the average person’s performance while practicing, compared to those who achieve mastery. For the artist and the businessperson, it is important to perform “deliberate practice.” In their heavily researched findings, deliberate practice looks a very specific way.

Before we get into what it looks like, lets first define it. Deliberate practice is a way to engage in an activity that creates growth in skills that you are not strong in. That means that the person practicing is engaged in the part or parts of their craft that they are weakest. They work on it and practice it until they achieve a high level of skill. An example of this in business would be to approach a customer for a sale of your product or service. A businessperson who wants to become top in their field, and if sales happens to be part of it, would ask for the sale, practicing over and over again until they figured out what works and what doesn’t.

Here are the five components, according to Talent is Overrated, that have to be included in deliberate practice:

  1. The task is designed specifically to improve performance, often with a teacher or coach’s help
  2. Repeat the task often
  3. Feedback is given on the result in a consistent manner
  4. The activity is highly demanding mentally
  5. The actual doing of the practice isn’t much fun

If you want to set yourself apart from your competitors in the actual delivery of your craft, the only way to authentically achieve this, according to research, is through dedicating many hours practicing, using the right methods.

Business Dream Team for the Little Guy

Monday, 15th July 2013

Business Dream Team for the Little Guy

I have been told by too many clients to even count that they can’t have a dream team in business because they just don’t have the money. They would love to have a dream team but it is just not possible for them now.

Well, is that the truth? I can’t even tell you how many times I have explored with them how to make the start of a dream team possible now. I always have to hush their concerns about money and look for alternative ways to get what they want.

We look at who has the skills, tools, or equipment they want. We look at what information they want, etc. We go on a big exploration of who they want and who that perfect person is and what is a way that they can get it by creating a win-win solution for everyone.

I have to admit that we had to get seriously creative, but we have always found at least one way they can get the help of some part of their dream on board right then.

So what is possible for you? Who can you get on your dream team and how?


Do You Have the Right Personality for Business?

Monday, 1st July 2013

Do You Have the Right Personality for Business?

When I first started business my husband told me in a loving tone that I didn’t have the right personality for business. So what is the right personality?

Obviously there is a professionalism that will help you rise above others. Skills like being able to communicate, showing up on time, and doing what you say you will do is a must.

Good news: all those things listed are not personality traits that can’t be fixed. Every one of those skills can be learned. And from my experience working with hundreds and hundreds of people, the two thing that determine whether a person will succeed in business or not is their ability to be open to learn new things, and the second, their willingness to learn how to be more disciplined on the things that counts.

So if you are open to learning what you need to learn and if you have willingness to develop specific discipline, then you are set and do have the right personality.


Is Business and Life Coaching a Scam?

Saturday, 5th January 2013

Life coaching is a scam if you don’t care about your life and your unwilling to really look at who you are, how you do things, and what you want more and less of your life.  There are plenty of people who are unwilling to change and don’t want to go to the effort of making changes in their life.  

If you do want more of your life, life coaching can be a great way to really explore what you want and for you to find the answers from within you.  You do have to be careful though there are a lot of coaches who lack the skills to really help you move forward in the areas you want and need.  It is important to take your time and find a coach that works with your personality and really gets what you want and what you need.  If a life coach starts listing a whole bunch of ways for you to fix things, that is a not a good coach.  Look for one that specializes in the area you most want to move forward with and make sure that the coach creates an environment that will move you forward.

Peak Performance Training for Introverted Entrepreneurs

Tuesday, 18th December 2012

Many people believe that an introvert is shy and would not fare well in the extroverted world of entrepreneurs. The truth is, introverts may keep to themselves more when they are in a situation where they are not comfortable, but that does not mean that they are shy or that they don’t talk. Introverts and extroverts are determined mainly from where they get their energy. Introverts need time with themselves and extroverts need people.

I am an introvert myself, and when I used to be asked to speak, I would get extremely sick to my stomach. Now that I have given hundreds of speeches, it is not as hard to get up in front of people, although I still feel nervous. The more you do something the easier it becomes. I used to hate networking meetings. Now people don’t believe that I am introverted. There is this thing called, “situational extroverted.” The more I do things, the more I become comfortable and the more at ease I am when I show up. The same principle will work for any introvert.
I have worked with an introvert who threw-up before giving a speech in front of five people. After diving into what she wanted to create, and why, that person exercised an incredible amount of courage, and built a whole business where she’d create events and speak with confidence and ease in front of rooms full of hundreds of people. No one would have imagined what she was like before, unless they had seen her earlier.

There are many successful entrepreneurs who are introverts. An extremely well –known, successful introvert entrepreneur that I know personally is Jack Canfield. I have talked to him about how he still is very much an introvert and how he sets up his life to honor that. He also has given hundreds of speeches to help him overcome his personal limitations because it was also part of his journey to become a great orator.

An important concept to remember if you are an introvert and you want to play in a more extroverted world of entrepreneurs, is to honor your introverted nature. If you do something extroverted, like networking or speaking, be sure to schedule downtime afterwards. Introverts need time to process and to get grounded. The key to being introverted and be in business, is to honor yourself for the way you are, and to find the courage to take the next step toward your dream.

Stop Sabotaging Yourself in Your Career

Tuesday, 4th December 2012

When was the last time you felt completely drained, like you did not belong in your job? Ever ask what you were doing at the job in the first place? What if I told you it was possible to do the work you choose, and you don’t have to have that awful, overwhelming feeling again?

One of my clients in 2009 was a cute Asian girl with short, trendy hair, a black business suit, and large, sad, brown eyes. As we began to work together, I discovered a beautiful, radiant artist’s soul. She arrived in Utah from a cosmopolitan area with a history of miserable jobs in sales and a passion for the big city. Not long after moving to the middle of the Rockies, she wondered why she suffered from so many headaches, bouts of the flu and colds, and felt absolutely drained most of the time.

She quickly discovered that the job she found in Utah was not giving her enough money to meet her bills. She’d found work in what she thought was perfect for her—a young, progressive company with lots of opportunities. But it did not take long before she felt completely disconnected. The stress of being miserable at the job began to affect her health. On came the headaches and the flu. She called in sick more and more. Since her jobs were based on performance, her ability to financially put her student husband through school was seriously compromised. Eventually, after months of this high stress, her long-suffering and patient husband gave a “we can’t continue like this” talk.

Desperate, and knowing she had her living, health, and marriage on the line, she tearfully asked me what the problem was. Why was she so miserable with a job she thought she would be good at? How could she get herself into a better place? I immediately prescribed a value assessment to determine her top three to five values.

Upon taking the test, it became clear that what she was missing was not honoring one or more of her values in each of her duties. After looking at her list of values, she said, “Now I understand why I’m so miserable.” She started asking herself questions like: “If I value aesthetics so much, why am I not pursuing a career that includes them?” and, “How can I bring more of my values into my current job until I am at the right spot to change jobs?”
Over the next couple of weeks, she thought about her top values and whether her work honored them. She came to a deep understanding what that really meant to her. As a result, major shifts followed in her job, housing situation, and health.

Those few critical questions set her on a completely different path. Since then she has chosen the industry she wants to be in, has gotten training to prepare her for that path, and has made huge shifts in what she looks for in jobs that help her get by until she qualifies for the one she wants to land eventually. She’s not sick as often, and her husband has time to focus on his studies. Best of all, when she thinks about her career, she is on fire with the passion that makes her ready to take on the future.

What are your top three values? Are you honoring them in every area of your life? If not, Step It Up and Be on Fire completely, by living within your values.

How Introverts can Build Self Confidence

Wednesday, 14th November 2012

Can an introvert be a successful entrepreneur, and eventually, a successful leader?

Of course it is possible to be an introvert and a successful entrepreneur. There are many many many successful entrepreneurs that are introverts. An extremely well known successful introvert entrepreneur that I know personally is Jack Canfield. I have talked to him about how he still is very much an introvert and how he sets up his life to honor that.

On your journey you will not change into an extrovert. Introverts and extroverts is based mainly on where you get your energy from. Introverts need time with themselves and extroverts need people. I am an introvert myself and when I used to be asked to speak I would get extremely sick to my stomach. Now that I have given hundreds and hundreds of speeches it is not as hard to get up in front of people although I still feel nervous. The more you do something the more easy it becomes. I used to hate networking meetings now people don’t believe that I am introverted. There is this thing called, “situational extroverted.” The more I do things the more I became comfortable with it. The same principle will work for you.

What I have learned as I honor my introvert nature is if I go do something extroverted like networking or speaking I schedule downtime afterwards. I know that I need time to process and to get grounded in myself. If I don’t honor that part of me, I lose my ability to be grounded and to feel at peace.

Building Self Confidence: Why Become An Entrepreneur? #22

Wednesday, 14th November 2012

Welcome to Biz on Your Own Terms! Today we will talk about the things you have to consider before you step into the entrepreneurial world.

There are simply too many entrepreneurs. Too many people trying to create their own jobs, be their own boss. Too many people are trying to live life on their own terms. Why are they doing this? Don’t they know that being your own boss, being able to work when you choose, and pursuing your dreams comes with a terrible cost?

Once you are an entrepreneur, this requires a huge amount of efforts, money, time and investments. So if you started your own business so that you will have more time to play or go on vacation or be with your family, then you might want to think again. Building a business at the beginning, and I don’t care what kind of business, will take work and lots of it if the business is a legal one. It could also mean time being spent away away from playing, family, and anything else that you can think of that you would rather be doing.

Furthermore, if you think you still want to be an entrepreneur because you love to deliver services, don’t fool yourself. If you think that having your business means that all you have to do is set up a website and customers will come, and that you will spend all day doing the work that you love, think again. Most find when running their business they spend most of their time doing everything except what they want to do.

Think about these things and then, decide. It is all up to you! Until next time on Biz on Your Own Terms TV!

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Overcoming Betrayals and Challenges in Business

Wednesday, 7th November 2012

Before I joined the forces of being a person in business, I hated business. I thought it was boring, and driven by the pursuit of money, numbers, and sales. I believed it was for the technical guys and gals who could crunch numbers, make sense of the stock market, and wear uncomfortable black suits.

I was an artist. Well, at least trying to be one, and my brain was not built to understand the world of business. I happily dove into the world of writing. After three years of incredibly hard work, I landed my first book contract. I stumbled on my way until, by book three, my publishers were talking to me about the importance of promotion, marketing, and selling more if I wanted to continue publishing with them.

The realization that I would not be around as an author if I did not “step it up” and sell more was a nasty pill to swallow. But I swallowed and banged around into the world of sales, marketing, and business.

That world became tricky, and the more I learned, the more I danced in it, the more I forgot about writing. (What a sneaky environment!) The money I could make doing business far overshadowed the royalty checks off book sales.

I all but forgot the harsh world of books that caused so many struggles, and focused passionately on building my business and counted on that paying well. I’d probably still be on that path if I had not been stricken with a host of health problems that landed me in the hospital and rendered me unable to stay conscious.

As I struggled to get back on my feet, I searched for something to help heal me, something that I loved, something that calmed me. I dove back into reading literature. As I read, I rediscovered my true love. I realized that I have always loved reading a good book that transported me to another world. When I read, I feel authentically me.

I wondered why I had so neglected my love? Why was I doing so much business that my health was crumbling under the burden of stress? As I read, a message from one of the books :cleared things up: Literature never disappointed me. I thought about all the disappointments that came from the book world—the rejections, lack of sales, small payments, and frustrating plots. All the disappointments came from trying to publish—not from literature itself.

Perhaps in some ways you are like me—you had something you enjoyed doing in your life –golf, basketball, painting, woodwork, etc., and you abandoned it or did less of it because … well, lots of reasons.

When I looked at my life head on, I realized that literature did not abandon me, but I put myself into the business part of the literature out of fear. I cut off the part that I’d loved so much and did the business part until it swallowed me up. I did this even though the business gave me headaches. I valiantly plowed through, feeling like that was what needed to be done. I had become swept up in the race and did not know it because my ego was at play.

It was my ego that wanted the gold sticker that said I was successful. It was ego that listened to the publishers and pushed so hard for the sales. It was ego that took something so beautiful and made it about image, which in truth does not matter so much. My being consumed with “business” had betrayed me from keeping my real love alive.