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Avoid Holiday Stress by saying, “Yes!”

Wednesday, 24th November 2010

salad

I just got back from going to my favorite salad place for lunch.  It always strikes me so funny when I go.  I go the that place to support my efforts to eating lots of fresh vegetables.  When I go down this line where they prepare our meal, the restaurant workers are continuing asking me, “Would you like cheese on that?”  “Would like to have a cookie or a brownie with that?”  “Would you like to have a pop?”  Or “would you like to have a chocolate covered strawberry?”  Over and over the worker’s continuously invite me to blow my goal.  As we approach Thanksgiving, there is going to be many opportunities that are good, healthy, and supportive to our lives.  Other things if we say yes to will have a negative effect.

Say yes to gratitude.  Say yes to being thankful.  Gratitude always put you in a better frame of mind, assists you to make better decisions, improves relationships.  Say no to family drama.  No, no, no!  I will not have family drama this year.  Say yes to peace.  Yes, I will peacefully get through to any situation.  Say no to anything that will cause negative results.

When times get a little more stressful than normal, which they often do when you are dealing with family and the holidays, it because even more important to say yes to the vegetables.  Yes to the things that make you feel good in the long run and look away when all those other invitation comes that won’t put you in peak performance.

Avoid the stresses.  Say yes to health.  Say yes to happiness.

Simplify to Success

Wednesday, 17th November 2010

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Sometimes the best way to step it up in your life is to simplify.  We are fast approaching the holidays, what are you going to cut back on, make easier, or just not do?  Love to hear.

Take Cues from Nature for Business Growth

Monday, 15th November 2010

autumn_tree

Here in Utah the season is changing.  It’s becoming cold.  The leaves are transforming into beautiful auburn reds, brilliant oranges, and yellows.  The leaves then drift from the trees to the ground.  Nature is preparing for winter to come.  Often time we can take cues from nature on how to grow successful businesses.  What can we learn from preparing for winter and its bitter chill cold for our business?  One thing is to slow down and prepare to go deep about what we want to do and accomplish in our business instead of being on the fast track of the rat race going from one thing to another without really analyzing the actions steps we are taking.

When we let things settle and we explore the brilliance and opportunities that are around us changes take place. It’s is critical to periodically take really deep looks at our business, not just all the work and fluff, but uncovering:

  • Why we are in business?
  • Where do we want to go in our business?
  • Who are niche?
  • Who do we want to work with?
  • What is our perfect work life balance?
  • What are the opportunities we want to capture?
  • What is the legacy do we want to leave in business?

When we focus on these kinds of questions, and come up with the answer from our core, we learn who we want to be and where we want to grow our business.  Then we can look then at our busy “to do” list and decide if what we are doing is supporting are overarching goals.  Is what we are doing going to be important a week from now?  A month?  Or even a year?  Or is it busy work that we feel we have to do out of obligation because other people are telling us we should do.  Maybe we doing it because it seems like it should be done.  When we brutally refine what needs to be done to get to the next level amazing clarity comes.  After that, it is necessary to take action steps that are critical to bringing in revenue and building relationship.  If we do revenue producing activities first and only second do all the other stuff then our businesses will transform into greater health.  This laser-like focus gives energy we need to weather any storm that comes our way.

As you look at your business, are you about to go into winter?  Do you want to encourage the rebirth in your business?  Or maybe your business is going into spring and preparing for more growth?  No matter the stage your business is in take cues from nature go deep.

Is work/life balance possible for a mother?

Wednesday, 10th November 2010

WorkingMom

I have been so excited.  My husband finally got a job out of the house.  That means the kids are home with me.  I wanted that.  I have two younger kids that need my attention and the best way for me to give it to them is for me to be the one home adoring them.  BUT, as I realized the first day my husband was gone, that means I am the one doing everything.  Naturally, I am not giving up my job as business coach nor am I going to stop writing and speaking so how to balance it all?

Whether you are going through a new transition like I just jumped into, or whether you are dealing with the normal life this balance it something that has no magical answer.  Also to make it tricky what works now won’t last.  Kids naturally grow into different stages. What was required from me when my older kids where young is different now that they are teens.  What it required of me now with my little ones is different than it was the first time.

So how does one at least achieve some sort of balance so they don’t feel overwhelmed, depressed, or unmotivated?

I am sure that there are many different answers to this, but I will tell you how I climbed out of my overwhelmed box. At this moment I am currently rocking as a mom and in my business.  First, I took a breath.  My husband got his job on a weekend I was out-of-town.  I flew in late Sunday because of plane delays (got to bed at 3 AM) and work up early Monday morning to my husband leaving for work. I was expected to figure out my business and tending to the little ones.  Overwhelm.

Step 1: Baby stepping to sanity

So I took baby steps.  I first attended to the “Must does.”   I didn’t do anything else but the things that absolutely had to be done.  I told everyone that requested something that I today was “must dos only.”  Their requests would go to a list and I would get to it when I had better idea of how I would balance everything, okay, not everything but most things.

It is amazing how many people struggle with this step of saying, “No” or “I can’t get to that right now.”  When questioned they often feel like they must be there for the other person.  It is hard to put themselves first.  This is a very important step to take.  If taken it is amazing how much our children, spouse, or clients will understand and be willing to take their turn for your attention as long as you do get back in a timely manner.

Step 2: Pay attention to the AHHH’s

After putting out the biggest fires, it was time to tune-in to the ahhhh’s.  Now there is a lot of variety of ahhhh.  There is the ahhhh’s: how I am going to do this?  There is the ahhhh’s: how am I going to adjust and what this is going to mean to me?  And there is just simply ahhhhh.  That Monday the biggest ahhhh I felt was: How was I going to go on the business trips I wanted and needed to go on since now husband couldn’t babysit?  Despite all the pressure and being exhausted from travel and all the things screaming to pay attention to, I came up with a plan for the trips.  I immediately called my sister to see if she was up for watching my darlings.  I gave her the dates for the whole next year and WOW did I feel better when she said, “Yes, for now.”

After that call I was able to chip away at all the rest of the stuff so much easier.  To be truthful the idea of being home all the time with my little darling and staying in the snow without any trip or seeing my friends that I have from all over was just well—depressing.  More than depressing.  Really really really depressing.  Once I knew that I was going to have my outs, I was much happier chasing the kids around the house hearing them squeal in delight.

My second ahhhh was the car pool that I just realized (when the kids called asking where I was at) that I was expected to do.  Well car pool is wonderful thing, but when I am hauling babies through the snow and getting in the car when I could be coaching—well the math didn’t add up nor did my excitement.  I rolled up my work sleeves and looked for a solution.  I believe that there is always an answer and this time the answer had to be me not doing the driving.  I did come up with an answer.  They kids get where they need and I do very little of the driving.  Happy times.

As you look at your work/life balance, what is having you go ahhhhh?  What is having you feel trapped?  Depressed? Not excited?  What step can you take to make it better?

Step 3: Identify where is the energy drainers or the anxiety increasers

By week two I had caught up with the travel hanger over and work pile.  Now it was time for me to tune in again and identify when I was feeling more agitated and what I could do about it.  After two days, I realized I was really happy and hit flow until the older kids came home.  I looked at why that was causing stomach problems.  It didn’t take long to identify the problem.  I actually thought that when the older kids got home they would help.  I would get a lot of my business work done.  Now that is funny!  What was I thinking?

Teenagers are addicted to drama.  They want their stories heard, boredom fixed, and their friends, not to help Mom.  Okay some of that they are going have to learn how to roll up their sleeves and work anyways.  Other part of it Mom is going to have to learn to get her work done before they came home.  Easy solution.  Hire a babysitter for two hours twice a week while the older ones are at school and work then.  That has worked like a charm.  There is so much peace of mind in a babysitter.  I can actually schedule when my work is going to be done and now all I have to do is honor the schedule.  Brilliant.  I wish I would have thought that one earlier.

I have to tell you it was hard to admit I needed the babysitter.  I actually felt guilty for being away from the kids eight hours a week.  Where is my head?  I had to talk to myself about how eight hours working strictly on my business is not being a bad mom.  Where did I get that idea?  I had to do some serious coaching on myself.  Hate that.  Sometimes I think I should know better and would get it faster since I help so many others with it.  But that is not loving and so I accept that I am human and I need help and sometimes I even need to coach myself.

That’s all the solutions I have for now.  I would love to hear from other mother’s out there on what solutions they found in work life balance and what things are they still struggling with.

What’s a Leader?

Friday, 5th November 2010

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What is a leader?  That sounds like a question and I am sure that you have heard many different answers too.  Here’s mine.  I believe that everyone has the potential and the capacity to be a leader within them.  In order for a person to truly live their life purpose and do what they were sent here to Earth to do, they at some point in their life need to find that leader within them and let it step forth and shine to the world.  When I talk about stepping it up in your life this is the exact stuff that I am talking about–stepping forth in your brilliance.

Okay before the panic button gets pressed by all you introverts out there that believe I am saying that in order to live your life purpose you have to go way out there and do a lot of stuff that is extremely uncomfortable.  Wrong.  Not what I mean.  There are all types of leaders and all types of ways to lead.  Yes, there are the loud powerful ones that are in front of the pack and often make a lot of noise.  Love those types and believe we should empower as much as possible to make the right choices.  There are also the quiet leaders that lead softly with gentle words and kind gestures that often hit people in the core and make lasting change with little effort.  Love those types too and we shouldn’t over look them.  Then there are the cheerleaders, of course my favorite since that is the type that I am.  Cheerleaders believe in others and their capacities and they will see other’s potential that sometimes others can’t see for themselves.  Of course there is the ones who lead by serving and they uplift all they come in contact with.  There are leaders that somehow transform everything they come in contact with into beauty and on and on we can go.

Leaders lead.  That simple.  They let their light shine and sometimes they are really scared and take big steps and they fall or they succeed but they go on doing the things that they know in their core is the right thing that will make this world a better place.  Of course there are the bad leaders that get groups to do things that are terrible, but I am not going to waste my time on those leaders unless they are willing to self-examine and transform their ways to be about building others.

Each one of us has a longing a desire to do or be something that will have an impact and make a difference.  Those who listen to that longing and start taking steps to make the longing a reality are the leaders.  I don’t care if you take the steps in a loud fashion or ever so lightly.  Each and every one of us has the ability to look inside and listen to what’s next and to take that step.  What’s your next step?  How do you best lead?  I’d love to hear from you.