1.    Rationalization (Ration Lies) What exactly is rationalizing? Again I love Webster’s definition: “to cause something to seem reasonable.” Doesn’t that fit perfectly? Rationalizing is when you make excuses for why you did what you did. You can often discover when you are doing this when you hear, “I would have been successful, but she or he …” Or because of, “But that’s not fair.”
I am sure you heard a time or two arguments against the doctors and nutritionists that pizza is a healthy food. After all, it has every food group.

◦    Cheese-dairy

◦    Crust-grains

◦    Pepperoni-meat

◦    Peppers/pineapple-veggies/fruit

2.    When a person is arguing that pizza is healthy, they are trying to make it “seem reasonable.” Most of the time neither the persuader nor the recipient take this seriously. But there are other times in our lives when rationalizing is used quite seriously, and the person making the excuses doesn’t realize the damage they are causing themselves.
They are literally handing over their power of taking charge of their lives, giving it away to circumstances or to another person’ actions. A hint that you are slipping into rationalization is if you are putting the word “because” in your sentences.

3.    Blame “The devil made me do it,” is an overused phrase that many have used in an attempt to pass on their accountability. “Blame” is where you attribute responsibility that is clearly yours onto someone else. Blame is a common behavior and has been around at least as long as Adam claimed it was Eve’s fault that he ate the apple.
A hint to know if you are falling in this pattern is if blame is focused on other people.

4.    Shame Another frequent behavior is to take on too much responsibility or too little. The rationalizers and blamers are guilty of not taking on enough responsibility. The shamers have the opposite problem. Shamers not only take on their own portion, but other persons’ portions of responsibility as well.
You know you are dealing with shame when an inappropriate amount of responsibility is being taken on, and you are blaming yourself.
Common practices:
“I should have …”
“If only I would have …”
“Why didn’t I …?”
“I could have …”
The old “Coulda, shoulda, whoulda.”

Posted in: Self Improvement, Step It Up Living at 7:22 pm