As I work with people, I have been fascinated by how many times not valuing oneself comes up as a problem that affects all areas of a person’s life.  When I was in a difficult marriage, I remember thinking that I was less than human.  I didn’t believe that I had value or even had the right to live.  Having that kind of thought process reinforced my decisions to get pregnant.  I had this belief that if I became pregnant then I would be worth something because the baby I carried would be precious and have value.  This resulted in my believing that while I was pregnant I had worth.  By the time I was pregnant with my sixth child in seven years I realized that kind of thinking had to change!

Now I amazed I ever thought that way.  When people start believing that they are of value, this oftentimes improves the relationships around them, especially with their children. 

An excellent exercise that I found to work well is:

1- Get a clean sheet of paper.

2-Draw a line down the middle.

3-Write a positive belief on the top right-hand side, such as: “I am of worth.”

4-In the left column write down every negative belief that comes up.  For example: ”No, you’re not.  You’re a liar.”

5-Once you write down all the negative beliefs go back and write the positive affirmation until you have written it twenty times.

6-After you finish the twenty, you can look at each negative belief that you have written down and come up with a specific positive belief to counter each negative statement.  If that’s too difficult, imagine that you are countering negative beliefs voiced by your child or someone you dearly love and are trying to help.  You may find it easier to think lovingly and positively about someone other than yourself.

7-Write each of those positive thoughts twenty times.

8- Work on this exercise for 10 minutes daily.

9- Continue this exercise for thirty days.

Doing this for thirty days will allow enough time for the new belief system to sink into your subconcious.  Oftentimes we get into negative belief patterns and this affects every situation we are in, sometimes more than we know.  When we learn to think about the positive and reprogram our thinking into one that will serve us, our self-esteem rises.

Posted in: Self Improvement at 8:16 pm