One cannot watch the news reports on O.J. Simpson without seeing similarities between him and the abuser profile.  The biggest blaring characteristic would be his sense of entitlement.  His actions scream that he thinks he can get away with— anything—consequence free.  The reason being, “It’s not his fault.”  If he wants his watch back, don’t worry about getting it legally, bust down a door, bring a gun, yell and threaten with tons of profanity and get what you want.   Another behavior that would be on the lookout list is when a person violates another person’s access to help by trying to take away the phone.  Of course to the abuser the phone snatching is okay because the other person was threatening to call the authorities and that would cause him trouble and that to them is abusive.    It’s okay to indulge in highly emotional outbursts that cause other people heart attacks because, hey, they took the watch so they deserve what they got.  Their behavior is justified, they are after all no matter what they do or the harm they cause others, even murder, because, after all, they are the victim. Abusers, naturally, can’t help being charming and fun, the life of the party the night before the attack.  They can’t help it if people instantly like them and they are good natured—well, at least until you tick them off.  Being Dr. Jekyll and Mr. Hyde, switching from nice to menacing, is all part of the job.  It’s all part of the fun not knowing if you are dealing with the fun, talented, good natured person or the angry, threatening one who if you don’t do what he wants ….well.   Entitlement, swearing, weapons, threats of isolation, anger, charm, Dr. Jekyll and Mr. Hyde, claiming to be a victim, it all just seems to fit too nicely.  When is society going to say enough is enough?  

Posted in: Self Improvement at 7:59 am