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Saturday, 23rd May 2009

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Get Off The Flight To Nowhere

Monday, 28th June 2010

How many people would get on a plane where the pilot hasn’t yet determined where he or she wants to go other than joyriding? Not many. Yet a lot of individuals journey through their life without a clear outline for their life. Some are even clueless as to what direction they want to head.

How likely is it going to be for them to live the life of fulfillment and passion—a life without regret? If you are one of those people—aimlessly stomping through your day—stop. Get out a pen and start asking yourself:

  • What do I want to do before I die?
  • What do I want to accomplish?
  • What do I want to experience?
  • How do I want to be remembered?
  • What legacy do I want to leave?
  • What would I need to do, or what path would I need to be on, to accomplish it?
  • What is the purpose of my life?
  • What am I meant to contribute?
  • What gives my life meaning and value? Do I have enough of that in my life?

Answering these questions with thought and soul searching can be a great start on the path to clarity.

To learn more about how to create your passionate Step-It-Up Life, visit www.StepItUpQueen.com.

Are You A Perfectionist?

Monday, 7th June 2010

Are you tired? Worn-out? Or just don’t feel like stepping it up? The problem may be that you have confused perfectionism with stepping up for your life purpose and living that life fully.

Many people pursue perfection in particular areas in their lives. Perfectionism is a long, maddening drive down a never-ending road for flawlessness; it provides no rest stops for mistakes, personal limitations or the changing of minds.

Perfectionism can cause feelings of anxiety, fear, and self-doubt; it can cripple self-esteem, stifle creativity, and put a stumbling block in the way of intimate friendships and love relationships. Ultimately, it can create or aggravate illnesses such as eating disorders, manic-depressive mood disorder, obsessive-compulsive disorder and substance abuse.

Perfectionists are those who take accountability, responsibility, and self-discipline to an excess where the joy of doing a job well is zapped away. If you are constantly sloppy in your work, don’t do what you say, and rarely do your best work then perfectionism is not your problem. If you have self-discipline, do a job well, and can be happy with what you are able to accomplish then you too are not guilty of perfectionism. But if you drive yourself and those around you crazy because you can’t satisfy your own standards then there is a problem.

Complete this questionnaire to discover how perfectionistic you are.

  • I never do anything halfway; it’s all or nothing for me. Every time.
  • People who do things halfway make me angry or disgust me.
  • I believe there’s a certain way to do things and they should always be done that way.
  • I get angry when I make mistakes. I hate to make them and can hardly forgive myself.
  • I often procrastinate on starting projects. I seldom meet deadlines. Or if I do, I kill myself meeting them.
  • I feel humiliated when things aren’t perfect.
  • I don’t like to admit not knowing how to do something or to being a beginner. If I can’t do something well, I won’t do it.
  • People say I expect too much of myself. Or of them.
  • In my family, you could never completely measure up to expectations.
  • I’m hard on myself when I lose, even if it’s only a friendly game or contest.
  • I often withdraw from others and from group activities.
  • I don’t think work should be fun or pleasurable.
  • Even when I accomplish something, I feel let down or empty.
  • I criticize myself and others excessively.
  • No matter how much I have done, there’s always more I could do.
  • I don’t delegate often and when I do, I always double-check to make sure the job is done right.
  • I believe it is possible to do something perfectly and if I keep at it, I can do it perfectly.
  • Forgetting and forgiving is not something I do easily or well.

The more yes answers, the more likely it is that you have perfectionist tendencies.

There is a difference between excellence and perfection. Striving to be really good is excellence; trying to be flawless is perfectionism. If you’re concerned about your perfectionist behavior, don’t hesitate to contact me at www.StepItUpQueen.com and learn how to live a more peaceful life.

© Step It Up Queen, LLC

Are You Living In Sync With Your Values?

Tuesday, 1st June 2010

To truly live a Step It Up™ life a person needs to be in alignment with their values. Only when a person is living and making decisions from a place of honoring their values will they experience true fulfillment.

Fulfillment in life is related to how well you are living in alignment with your values. Values are not morals or principles. They are the essence of who you are—not who you think you should be. For instance, money is not a value, whereas the things that money might buy, such as free time, risk-taking, and being of service are values. When you’re aligned with your values, you feel inner harmony, your choices are more easily made, and your actions are in accord with your true self. Take this quiz to see how well you are living in sync with your values.

  1. I have spent time clarifying my values and can easily articulate them.
  2. My values are my own. I have not simply adopted them from parents, teachers or other outside influences.
  3. I based my choice of occupation on my deepest values.
  4. My values are in alignment with the company I work for (or own).
  5. My business associates and I regularly examine how we are living up to our values and mission.
  6. I turn down money-making or status-building opportunities when they conflict with my values.
  7. In resolving disputes at work, I look beneath the apparent problem to see if values are being dishonored, and then I seek ways to honor them.
  8. Anyone looking at my life from the outside would see what I value.
  9. I use my values as a guidepost for making decisions. I ask if a particular choice would bring me closer to—or further from—a core value.
  10. When I feel upset, it’s almost always because my values are being trampled—either by me, someone else, or the situation.
  11. I am not easily swayed by others’ opinions when they conflict with my values.
  12. To remain open and flexible, I am willing to re-examine my values to determine whether something is still true for me.
  13. I find creative ways to honor all of my values—even when they conflict with one another.
  14. My work values are in harmony with my personal and relationship values.
  15. When I live according to my values, I feel satisfied and successful throughout my life.

If you answered false more often than true, you may wish to clarify your deepest values and bring your life into greater alignment with them. Please don’t hesitate to contact Lisa@StepItUpQueen.com if you’d like support in doing this.

Stepping It Up™ to be in sync with your values is all about Stepping It Up™ to live a happy, complete life.

Campaigning for Motherhood

Monday, 26th April 2010

All right I am on a rant.  I can’t keep quiet about this anymore.  Ever since I was yelled at in LA airport for being pregnant because that was a symbol of pro-life I have been wondering what has happened to our society.  Everywhere I go outside of Utah, I get the most shocked looks when someone finds out I am a mother of eight children.  It is such anomaly that they make a reality shows out of the mere fact you have some kids.  What is going on?  It wasn’t that long in the far past that a lot of families knew the “secret” of having a lot of children and really what that was all about, now not so much.  Now people look at the burden and sacrifice it would create to their life.  They don’t know or appreciate those children are one the greatest blessings a person could be granted with.

I was at a conference last weekend and met a lady older than me with seven kids.  We were chatting about how hard it is to wait for grandchildren to come.  I jokingly told her I was thinking about having another one to tie me over until my older kids get on the ball.  She told me she had seven children, the youngest 30 and guess how many grandkids she has?  In the olden days I would say 35, but no, she had none.  NONE!  Unbelievable.   Most her kids were putting off marriage and the others putting off having children.  One of her daughters was there and I told her, “Shame on you for putting your mom through that.”  She laughed.  I laughed.  But then I wanted to scream.

Is it hard having a large family?  Yes.  Does it require a lot of sacrifice and headaches?  Yes.  Do I sometimes wonder why I choose to have 5 teenagers all at once—of course.  So why am I so worked up?  The reason is that nothing—not success at work, not making lots of money, not being in the best shape of your life is as great as raising up productive human beings.  Nothing can be more rewarding that spending time with kids and helping form a life.  And absolutely nothing is better than holding a little one in your arms and loving them or watching them grow and become their own person.

If you are not happy right now and you are mentally and financial stable and in a great marriage I highly recommend children.  They are one the best kept secrets of happiness.  If you are overwhelmed and the kids aren’t so fun anymore, write me and I can help you get that authentic smile on your face.   Parenthood can be a blast. It really saddens me that it is a dying secret.  I am calling for a revolution—Let the joy of parenthood be picketed in front pages in the newspapers and on the talk shows.  “Have kids!”

Monday, 5th April 2010

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As you probably know, there are people in all walks of life who are the greasy pigs.  They have an amazing ability to slip away and not be held accountable.  They say they will do something and then when accountability time arrives, they are gone or looking at someone else to blame.  Often these representatives will say their responsibility is a mistaken perception in others.  It can be confusing working with them because of the forceful conviction they’ve done their job the whole time. The more there’s doubt of what they were supposed to do the more power this person has.

So what does Donald do to weed these people out?  He forms testing grounds where conflict is almost eminent.  The difference between the audition at the beginning of the process is these latter small projects are more in depth and intense, looking further into how the individuals perform.  These small projects will help you know who are the greasy pigs, especially since Donald makes sure the task is due in an impossibly short amount of time.  This puts the pressure cooker on to see if people can remain high functioning, calm, and productive, thus proving their skills and capability for bigger jobs.

Through giving these project management assignments, Donald is able to put his Guerilla Fighters on assignment to be his eyes and ears collecting information on both the subtle and not so subtle.  Through these exercises people reveal true character.  For example Rebecca (season 4): she broke her ankle on an ice skating event and on the heels of that volunteered to be project manger, taking her team to a victory by doing everything necessary and accepting responsibility when things failed, proving she could handle herself well under pressure.  This contrasted nicely with Brent (season 5) or Jim (season 4) or Clay (season 4) who became raving control freaks the moment they came into a position of power and yet blamed others when things didn’t turn out.

We can apply this to our people selection, making sure before we commit we have hard core experience with how they operate when things count.  One simple way to do this is to suddenly change the time of the job interview and sit back to see what they do.  Another way is to give an unexpected assignment with almost impossible deadlines (with the business world the way it is this shouldn’t be hard).  A third possibility is to create a subcommittee and put the people you are considering on the team.  Give these people a challenging but short assignment then watch how well they perform and take responsibility.  They will reveal themselves.

Further Investigation Due to Political Weather

The third stage Donald engages in after weeding out the show horses and slippery pigs is to discover the cunning foxes.  These individuals shift when the individual doesn’t just change what he says, but changes what he is depending on the political weather.  This is how they try to manipulate their agenda.

This type becomes exposed when the political weather is tumultuous, brewing, and everything seems to be a stake.  A perfect example of this was seen in some of the last episodes in season 5 where Allie and Roxanne, best friends went to the board room.  It seemed that one of them had to be eliminated.  They fought to remain on the show.  At the end both girls set aside their friendship and tore each other apart.  Donald was so disgusted he fired both of them on the spot.

Donald was able to reveal from these tense situations the true loyalties that these individuals had.  So how do we create similar test grounds for people we are thinking about hiring to a big position or people we are considering promoting to an important position?  There are many possibilities.  Hiring a workshop leader that puts these potentials through exercises that reveal people’s nature.  One idea is to have the potential team member play a game specifically designed to show peoples’ loyalties.  Another possibility is to create a task that the success of it would put friends on opposing ends then sit back and watch.  Let the political weather uncover who the individuals really are.

Pay close attention to people’s behavior, especially when they are under stress or feel like they are being attacked.  If the person shows disloyalty or willingness to do other things that lack character, think about what Donald Trump does and dismiss them.  He takes no chances with shaky behavior and if you want a strong company neither will you.

Options to Overwhelm

Monday, 22nd March 2010

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Often times when people start getting swallowed up with being overwhelmed, their vision narrows to tunnel. They hyper-focus on the issues pressing upon them, risking the loss of perspective and the gain of amplified stress. If this condition lasts long enough, they hit burnout and languish. In other cases, people react to being overwhelmed by being underwhelmed: they shut down constructive responses and go into some form of withdrawal. When either of these—or any other self-defeating response—happens, there are options…

Option #1. Become anxious and start worrying obsessively about all the things that can go wrong. Let your imagination run wild. The worse you can project the final outcome to be, the better. With this option, common physical side-effects will be an upset stomach, headaches, and shallowness of breath. Not to mention people who choose this option become irritable, not fun to be with, even go somewhat crazy.

Option #2. Pretend nothing bad is happening. Pretend that any irritation you are having at the current situation is a momentary lapse from looking at the bright side of life. Make sure any disturbing feeling is not acknowledged, or if it is recognized, then shove it down. If you are asked how you are handling the situation, smile broadly and say, “Great.” Or play dumb, “What situation?” Then turn the tables on the person by asking, “Why are you making a big deal out of nothing?”

The risk of option 2 is that very likely your feelings will ooze out of you like a leaking radiator, and despite the good face you’re showing the world, stains will be left behind wherever you interact. People may react to or withdraw from you, adding to your tension and isolation. Not to mention that you cannot resolve problems that are not admitted, encouraging things to worsen.

Option #3. Honestly acknowledge the stress and compounding of the problems, then stop to see the beauty in the present moment. Beauty? Does that sound funny?

Course correcting spares you nightmares.

Monday, 15th March 2010

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When building a house, I much prefer catching the mistakes in the planning stage then in any other stage.  It just saves so much money and time.  Unfortunately, I can’t always catch my mistakes at that stage.  The faster I catch them, the less headache they’ll cause.  Problems usually become worse the longer they are let go.

Don’t be afraid to admit that you are on the wrong path.  You made a mistake.  Course correct.  The only time it really is too late is when you are dead.  So, no matter how far down the path you are on, once you recognize that it truly is the wrong path or veering off course, take immediate steps to get on the right one.

Learning is a natural energizer in getting to the next upgrade.

Monday, 8th March 2010

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Have you ever been dragging through life and going through the motions when suddenly you are shown something, or told a tip, or given some information that transforms what you have been doing and takes your project or your efforts to a whole new level? This is what learning is all about. The trick is for those of you who are like me—learning addicts—to learn the right things at the right time.

For the past year I have been on an information diet where I only learn and focus on what I absolutely need to know in order to get to the next level of whatever I am pursuing. It is amazing how this single focus is allowing me to transform my life. I am less stressed. The right information is getting to me faster and I am being juiced with energy to keep on keeping on.

Curb Overwhelm

Monday, 1st March 2010

544732_53652852What to do to curb the overwhelming wave:

  1. Delete all the unnecessary.
  2. Delegate. I’m talking to the control freaks here. If someone else can do it, let them. No kid I’ve ever known has died from doing dishes, laundry, or making dinner.
  3. Go on an information diet. Only read books and emails with information you absolutely need for your next step in goals. Cut and unsubscribe to all else.
  4. Delete everything that’s not top priority. I know this is repeating number one, but it’s important. Go back through the list—which projects can survive on hold for the next week, month, or six months, or can be deleted all together?

Unseen Mastery Enlightened by Malcolm Gladwell

Monday, 22nd February 2010

For most my life I have been plagued with the desire to be a master at something.  And for most of my life I have felt like a complete failure.  I used to hate it when someone would get this bright idea that it was time for a talent show.  I would do anything I could to skip right out of that event, but there were times, mostly family reunions when some over energetic aunt would think it would be so cute to have all the kids do something for the whole group.  Having been blessed with two left feet, fingers that had a mind of their own on the piano, a memory that always failed, and a voice that would sometimes hit the right note on accident, there wasn’t much to do but hide behind the other performers and hoped no one would notice.

So it came as a big surprised the other day when I realized that I had mastered something in my life.  This huge revelation came to me as I read Malcolm Gladwell’s landmark book, Outliers.  In the book he explained people like the Beatles and Bill Gates didn’t just come from nowhere.  They had lucky breaks, talent, plus a whole bunch of time to learn whatever they were gifted in.  Gladwell analyzed the facts and concluded that it takes 10,0000 hours of doing something to become quite good at it.  Now, I don’t know about you, but that sounds like a lot of hours, something that I could only dream about doing, especially with my current lifestyle.  (EIGHT KIDS!)

But then I went on a trip to California to escape the nasty cold of Utah.  While there I love meeting people and learning about different ways people live.  Okay, I admit it I also enjoy being asked how many children I have because I just love people’s expressions.  Their eyes get really large, they start choking, “Eight,” they stammer.  So I add, “That doesn’t count the step-children.  That would make it twelve.”  The next thing they say is, “but you don’t old enough.”  Which of course, I love hearing.  Then more times than not, they say, “You don’t looked stress enough.  You don’t look worn-out and don’t have bags under eyes.  You seem like you are happy.”

I had always laughed that off, but then as I thought about Gladwell’s findings of the 10,000 hours I realized that I had put more than that into childrearing.  I had started help raise my siblings since I was three.  By the time I was ten, I was often left for eight to ten hours a day to watch the other seven children.  My siblings would often call me, “Mom.”  I have put my time in big time.  I only had a year and half of my life where I wasn’t watching children so it’s no wonder that having eight kids isn’t as stressful for me as it would be for others.  (I am going to make the exception of teenagers here.  I am real good with the younger kids.  The teenager thing I don’t have the 10,000 hours and I am not sure that I want to.)

I wonder how many of us have an unseen talent or mastery in something that we don’t realize and give ourselves credit for?  I think if we looked at what others are amazed at in us we can discover our master skills.  I would love to hear what you are really good.

 
 
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Lisa has written a number of books that can help you "Step It Up" in your life.
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