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Saturday, 23rd May 2009
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The Hard Decision
Monday, 6th July 2009
Making the tough decision to do the hard work doesn’t happen naturally for most of us. In fact, if my children are any indicator of what is natural human behavior, our first impulse is to look for any way to get out of work.
When I announce dish duty at the beginning of a chore season, I sometimes get tears and debates about why dishes are not appropriate for that particular child. Either they already learned the dish-doing skill or another sibling hasn’t had as much opportunity to do the dishes. They will say and argue whatever is necessary to avoid the task.
How many of us are exactly like that when it comes to . . . let’s say . . . tax season? We feel like we shouldn’t have to worry about this. Or we wish we didn’t have to mess with that. Although my children don’t like the consequences when they don’t do the dishes, I can tell you that the consequences of not paying your taxes are worse.
Choose Easy Or Hard
Monday, 22nd June 2009
Do you choose easy or do you choose hard? There is no right or wrong answer. I have friends who are quite proud that they choose easy. By their choice, they have a much smoother way of life. Also by this choice they choose the consequences, which will likely be to stay where they already are in their potential. If that is what they want, may they have the peace they seek.
If, on the other hand, you choose hard, you are looking at the possibility of being frustrated, down, stressed, and wondering what in the heck you’re doing—until the blessed gift of slipping into the zone arrives. Choosing hard isn’t for everyone. It requires a lot of determination, persistence, and grit. It also requires you to be a gambler because there is no guarantee that it will all turn out in the end.
The rewards can be huge. I submit—excluding divine intervention—that nothing great has ever been accomplished without choosing hard. There is a difference between choosing hard and deciding the task is hard. I am all about simplifying and not complicating things in order to reach objectives. In the long run choosing hard is, in fact, choosing easy. If I choose to make the hard decision of staying healthy, down the line, when others who didn’t make those choices are getting ill, I will be reaping the benefits of that hard beginning choice. The same goes in all areas of life, for everyone.
Successful Remarriage: Poor Mate Selection
Monday, 15th June 2009
Many think that people who have been divorced should be good at choosing a mate. After all, if you have been divorced, you should have a clear idea of what you do and don’t want in a spouse, right? Wrong! In many instances, divorced people are prone to poor mate selection. Why? There are many reasons:
a. Loneliness
b. Hurried marriage c. Incompatibility d. Mental instability (self, other person, or both) e. Too many unresolved issues from a previous marriage f. Lack of self-esteem g. Feeling as though they need a parent for their kids h. Financial troubles i. A need for the societal acceptance of being married j. Fear of being alone k. Fear of getting to know themselves
[CE1] This list looks slightly out of alignment, consider using the outline function to create flush edges.
Is Your Environment Keeping You Back?
Monday, 8th June 2009
Okay, how many of you have made a commitment to stay or get healthy, and do this by cutting back on your sugar? How many of you then proceeded to go to a party where they had the best desserts ever and the host asked if you wanted some. You saw others enjoying the temptation immensely and you decided to just have a taste?
Or, how about you decided that you were going to give up indulging in comfort food in exchange for a better choice. You did excellent for most of the day until the evening. You were starved. Didn’t have time to make dinner and the bag of whatever was sitting right there whispering that it was okay to eat.
These are all examples of how our environment can affect us. Environment and communities can have ample affects in many different areas of your life. It is not limited to food.
For example, I have one of the best mastermind groups ever. We meet together every two weeks on the phone from all over the United States, sometimes the world. This is a group of high functioning, top-of-their-industry, ambitious people.
I can get on the phone after having had a bad day—okay sometimes a bad week—hear their laughter and support, listen to their excitement for life, and I am no longer having a bad day. My hope is reignited and I am ready to tackle the obstacle that is weighing me down.
This is a great environment for me. What are your supportive environments? Often, people find these places with the people or associations that share a similar hobby. You can be weird to the rest of the world but it is a safe haven in a group where your hobby is cool.
Look at the people you surround yourself with and the type of surroundings you have. If they are not inspiring, are there things you can do to change it to become inspiring? How can you set up your environment and community to support you? Oftentimes, support can be found in servicing others in the place that works for your personality and gifts. How can you contribute and make it a win-win?
Step It Up Coaching call
Monday, 25th May 2009
Our next “Step It Up Coaching” call Breaking-Free of Messes and Incompletes is scheduled for June 3, 2009 @ 11 AM Mountain Daylight Time.
In this session of Step It Up Living™ Coaching we will be exploring:
- How to Tackle Messes and Incompletes
- The Six Areas of Messes and Incompletes
- Check List Where the Messes and Incompletes Lurk
- How Incompletes Dramatically Affected Queen Anne’s Rule
- How to Clean Up and Transform Messes in Relationships
This call is for all Step It Up Clients and Bronze Coaching members. Not a member? Join now to access this call. (Make live link to sign up.)
Honoring self-care is the foundation principle of moving forward.
Monday, 25th May 2009
Taking care of oneself is one of the hardest principles for people to follow. It is the number one thing that I work with people on when I life coach. Either people are caught up in living their life for others or they are caught in pleasure or avoidance. Neither of these behaviors is self-care. Granted, taking it easy and going to a movie, or taking a hot bath might be a great first step for the chronic workaholic, but for the chronically avoidant this is just going to help them indulge themselves even more in their self-defeating behavior.
Honoring self-care falls in line with loving yourself enough to put health food in your mouth, go to bed at a responsible hour or schedule a nap so that you aren’t reported by your body for self-abuse. It is choosing not to get caught up in relationships that are filled with drama, and it is taking a break to stretch when you have sat at the computer for long periods of time. How can you step it up in self-care and how will it benefit your life?
Stepping It Up In Business
Saturday, 23rd May 2009
I am so excited to announce how one of my client’s is stepping it up and launching a great new business. Check it out!
Cable Care Couture is a fashion blog committed to showcasing the cutest modest clothes on the market! Cable Car Couture features spotlights on real women, incredible designers, big and small, as well as fantastic giveaways! Visit www.cablecarcouture.com for the whole scoop!
I was inspired to create Cable Car Couture as I was researching fabulous modest clothes in preparation for America’s Top Model. I knew I couldn’t keep these marvelous modest frocks to myself and thus, Cable Car Couture was born. It is a true labor of love.
Please add www.cablecarcouture.com to your blogroll and spread the word!
A recent post you may enjoy:
Successful Remarriage: Mental Health
Wednesday, 20th May 2009
In most circumstances, divorce lowers a person’s mental health. Depression and anxiety are often associated. Due to divorce, some individuals become so angry that they cannot let go of the pain their ex-spouse caused them. This places a lot of pressure on the human mind. The mind becomes agitated. Unfortunately, the brain can lock onto the anger, fear, or anxiety and can become addicted to the chemicals released into the system every time a negative memory or image runs through their thoughts. If this pattern remains uninterrupted, the body can form a physical addiction to anger, fear, and/or anxiety. There are also people who become so anxious about relationship failure that they sabotage new relationships. Anxiety and fear make them incapable of letting others into their life. These individuals may have relationships, but they never deepen because they don’t dare let someone fully know them. It’s as though they have a tight grip on a cat that is trying to twist free of the stranglehold. In the case of people, the more the other person tries to be free, the tighter the grip becomes. Eventually the cat or person will flee. This only adds fuel to the fire of the already anxiety-ridden person, reinforcing the belief that everyone will leave them.
Positive in positive out.
Monday, 11th May 2009
Sometimes it makes sense to pour in positive ideas and concepts hoping that is what will spill forth later, but at times these principles appear to not be working. Let’s take parenting, for example. There have been more times than not when I felt like I was talking to an empty vacuum where nothing I was saying or trying to do was registering.
On one of those particularly hard days I was overcome with frustration. Nothing I was doing seemed to reach the children. I sat down, my forehead cradled in the palm of my hand in hopes that the pounding would seep out of my head and into my hand. My eight-year-old son approached me. I took a deep breath to regain composure and looked up. “Yes?”
“Mom, I don’t feel good eating all this junk food. Do you mind if we go to the health food store so I can eat something that is healthier?”
I wanted to sing praise like the angels above do. My son had listened to me from all those times I tried to communicate the benefits of health food. Health food, of all things, was the lesson that sunk in! Halleluiah. Something did register. The positive in stuff eventually had something positive come out. Amazing.
I have been surprised at other times when I think that my kids have heard nothing of what I say to them when I overhear them giving the same lecture or advice to another sibling, using the same voice tone and inflection. At those times I have proof that what I put in their minds does affect what comes out, and if it works on them there is no question that it works on me. (How many times have I given myself my parent’s lectures in my mind, twenty years later?)
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